Deafening Chameleon: February 2012

Recently I have had kind of an upsetting past 24 hours. First my guest from hell and I had a major blow-out last night. Frankly I was fed up with her chronic inconsideration to anyone and her warped belief that somehow she is the center of the universe.
First when she asked to stay with me, I only wanted 3-4 days maximum but she talked me into letting her stay a week and would give me $100 which would have helped me out. Then once she arrived last Thursday I did try to give her a spare key because she is here in town for a 1 week conference. I thought it would be best if she had a key to come and goes as she pleases for the conference and also to free me up as well as I have just spent 6 weeks helping my grandmother prepared to move and then helped when she did move the weekend before last. This means I have had very little social life which is fine because family comes first but this past weekend was my 1st "fun" weekend I had in a while.
But my guest didn't want the spare key. Uh ok....then Thurs night we finally got out to meet my friend and go dancing but she ended up yakking away with my friend. Fine, no worries but then she wanted to go home earlier than I did but I figured fine I would have Friday night to play! Plus my guest wanted to meet me at a Deaf event Friday night around 6-7pm and then join us for our plans for the evening which involved stopping by to see my best friend. Then hitting Bar 13, then hitting my favorite club Ceilo! Well my guest text me to let me know she wasn't going to make it to the Deaf event due to dinner plans with fellow conference attendees. Ok I get that, no problem. She says she will meet me at Blondie's home but once I am there she lets me know she is still at the same restaurant. Fine, okay no problem. Now she says she will meet me at Bar 13, uh ok. The at Bar 13 once again she flaked out. Fine she want to meet me at Ceilo ok, I'm cool with that and was waiting for her to let me know she was on her way to Ceilo so me and my friends could meet her there. For 10 minutes I did not check my phone and then next thing I know I have 12 text messages with her freaking out saying she was at Ceilo and we weren't there and that she left and felt like she was in danger. First of all, she's white and in Manhattan and below 96th st. Any NYer will tell you there is no danger. Secondly where Ceilo is located, it is extremely well lit with many bars, restaurants etc etc so how she felt scared I'll never know because it wasn't some dark alley with crackheads shooting up and graffiti everywhere! So me and my friends RUSHED to meet her and she's all upset and my friend who arranged the evening is upset and now Ceilo free admission ended and we would have to pay $25 to get in and none of us really wanted to pay that. Plus my guest tells me she is ready to go home. I am like, wtf? I told her I wasn't and that I had made an effort to include her on 3 different things earlier that evening that I would not be going home for another hour. My friend Goddess Rose said lets take a cab back to Bar 13 where no cover and good music, people dancing. On the way back to Bar 13 I decided to just give my guest my set of keys and crash at Blondies for the night which she didn't mind. But I expected my guest to come to meet me the next day and give me back my keys.
Saturday comes and I had a great time dancing the night before, slept over at Blondies and my phone was DOA because no charger. I contacted my guest through FB since I couldn't text message her and I didn't get any replies. Goddess Rose did me a huge favor and text my guest to let her know my phone was dead and to check her FB messages. When my guest finally checked mid afternoon she informs me she can't read the message and for me to email her directly. So I emailed her and asked that she meet me by dinner time because I am still wearing the same clothes from the night before, no toothbrush and feeling tired and crummy. She doesn't reply and doesn't reply till after 6:40pm and then shes finally on her way to meet me. I am NOT happy now because all of this could've been avoided had she just taken the spare key! She doesn't even thank me for letting her take the keys etc etc and waiting for her all day Saturday! We get back to my apartment and I told her she has to take the spare key as I didn't want more of those kinds of problems. That same night she brings in a bottle of red wine that I had on hand and we had opened the night before. Understand she did not put the cork back in the bottle but brought it out to my living room sans cork and puts it on the coffee table on my off white rug! Somehow I must've hit the table or snagged the bottle and it goes flying all over my rug creating spirals. I jump up to grab cold water and salt to immediately soak up the RED wine off my OFF-WHITE carpet! I was able to get most of it out but there is a spiral stain on my rug that I just can't get rid of completely :( UGH!!!
Sunday comes and she goes to her conference that morning, meanwhile I slept in and worked on my lessons, and cooked 3 different meals to save money this week and to share with my guest. She comes back that afternoon and asks me to let her in the apartment because guess what? She LOST my spare key!!! Huh, wtf?! You're kidding me! How is that even possible and then she had the nerve to ask to borrow my set of keys. I told her NO WAY! If they were lost that's it! Come on you're crazy to even ask me. Then she asked me if I was okay with leaving my door unlocked? Again I am like are you out of your mind, this is the BRONX! Grr, but she offers to replace the key in which I explained that its not that easy or cheap to do. That the keys are specially made through whats called a copy card so without the 'master card' you can't make copies of the keys. Which makes sense in NYC as you don't want a million people being able to make copies of building keys etc etc..I told her at the very least it will be $75 but it can be as expensive as $175! She looked skeptical like maybe I was lying, uh whatever.
She had invited me to join her and fellow conference attendees at Hard Rock Cafe in Time Square last night but I wasn't interested. That is until I found out an old friend of mine who I am very fond of would be there so I felt it would be worth the visit and to show my guest support too. I explained to my guest I will be coming from NJ after eating dinner with Blondie and Red Hots and she was fine with that.
Yesterday morning was Monday and when I woke up to go to work she was on her way out. I went back to my bedroom to wake up some more with my Bastard Kitty Tom before starting my day and lucky for her I felt BANG BANG BANG through my mattress. At first I wondered if it was one of my neighbors blasting music which is quite common but I had a funny feeling it wasn't. I went to my front door to check and lo behold there she was she had forgotten something. I told her she was lucky I felt her banging and hadn't showered yet or else she would have been waiting 30-40 minutes.
Fast forward to late afternoon my guest text me to let me know the plans may have changed and I was to text her when I was on my way? Uh no thank you, I don't want to play tag especially in a car in Time Square. I was already feeling very put out by the whole visit and not at all like I had made a new genuine friend. Finally a few hrs later she says no its still on for Hard Rock Cafe so Blondie and I get there around 1030pm and that's late for me on a Monday. I already told my guest the day before I did not want to stay out late Monday as I work today and yesterday etc etc.. At Hard Rock Cafe it was great to see my friend Rusty and Goddess Rose also joined us there. At a different table there were about 10 Deafies sitting but I didn't know any of them and most were international. Cool, I sit at the 'VIP' table with Rusty, Blondie and Goddess Rose while my guest fluttered around with the others before finally sitting back down at our table with one guy who I will call RR. I immediately did not like RR and got bad vibes off of him. He is one of those arrogant gay men who act like you're trash or beneath them. I didn't really pay one ounce of attention to him nor was I impressed on his master thesis crap. I was ready to go because I still needed to drop off Blondie and get my laptop new battery that had been mailed to her. And I wanted to drop off Goddess Rose as it was on my way home. I indicated to my guest that it was time to leave so me, Blondie and Goddess Rose immediately got up and put our coats on and walked towards the entrance but they needed to use the bathroom. Sure ok but I turn around and my guest and her dick friend RR are not anywhere close so I walk back into the dinning room and they're yakking away! I said again I really need to get home, I work tmw and as soon as the girls were out of the restroom we had to leave. I get back to find both Blondie and Goddess Rose on their way upstairs to exit outside to the street so I waved and informed shithead RR that we got to go, let me guest know because her back was to me. He just looked at me and smirked. Whatever, I go upstairs and outside where my 2 friends are waiting and we wait, we wait, we wait and I shoot back downstairs to find out what is going on?! They're still talking. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I flipped out and said to RR 'why didn't you tell her we left?! why are you such a dick?' then I looked at her and said 'I have to work tmw and I am leaving NOW!' and I stormed up the steps and get outside. Once outside my guest grabs my arm to tell me she thought I went to the restroom and I wasn't having any of it. I told her her friend was an asshole, and that she knew I needed to leave and that she was being extremely rude and inconsiderate. She then wanted me to listen as she 'excused' herself once more which made things worst because then I started firing off on how I never wanted her to stay a week, that I went out of my way to make plans for her that she specifically requested for Friday night and she didn't bother to show up to any of it and instead gives me the runaround for hours! Then I was nice enough to give her my keys and spend the night at Blondies, sit around all day Saturday waiting for her to show up that night after 7pm! Then she lost my key and now tonight she was being an inconsiderate person! Every time she tried to reason why she didn't do anything wrong I looked away. When the 4 of us boarded my car I caught my friend Goddess Rose saying to my guest how we could sit down and have a discussion about what happened and I cut her off and said 'absolutely not, there is nothing to discuss. That my guest had been chronically rude PERIOD. That she owes me an apology and I had every right to get pissed off!"
After I dropped off Blondie, Goddess Rose decided to come with us back to my apt as I had something of hers she wanted returned and I offered if she wanted to spend the night she could. So the 3 of us get back to my home in the Bronx and get out of my car to walk back to the building. Once again she wants to have a discussion and I told her that I am not the kind to hold a grudge, once I've said my piece I am done. But she doesn't take a hint and I then tell her that her best bet is to drop it! The 3 of us get into the elevator and she then tells me I have no respect and that I should be respectful to her which just made me go crazy again and I replied "respect? you don't even know what respect is. I don't give respect to people who treat me like shit!" then she slammed her hand against the wall in frustration that I wasn't going to let her guilt me for telling her off. I didn't call her names, I didn't put her down. I stated the facts and why I was upset that is IT! Don't try to twist it in your favor it will never work!
We entered the apartment and she's fuming, fine. I let her and Goddess Rose talk while I once again clean up after her ass (she never cleaned once, washed any dishes, took out the garbage). All she did was buy some fruit and beer but so did I and I shared my meals with her and used up several packages of meat that my Mom had sent back with me a while ago. Then Goddess Rose and I talked some in my bedroom where she informed me my guest was planning to leave this morning and stay somewhere else. Okay fine by me, see ya! But I forgot I left something in the living room so went back out to get it. I calmly told her that I was sorry things did not work out between the 2 of us and if she wanted to stay at a hotel/motel/hostel whatever that was her choice. I wasn't asking her to leave but I was asking her to be more considerate and aware of other people. That this may be a vacation for her but this is my home and I work and this is my life here. That I don't just sign to see my hands moving (same as hearies when they say 'I don't just talk to hear my voice'). That I was upset by her chronic rudeness then she says 'can I talk?' and I say yes and then she proceeds to tell me she hurt and the reason she's leaving is not because of what I said but the fact I wouldn't allow her to excuse herself in which I started to reply and she says "I am not done talking!" and I said this is not Communism here, we are having a DISCUSSION and I am allowed to add to it! That I am not here for a lecture on how she thinks me telling her off is a form of domestic violence, uh yeah right, okay! Nope then I said "I give up" as now twice I tried to settle the matter and at the very least am owed an apology. But she isn't going to apologize so fine, whatever, SEE YOU, DON'T WANT TO BE YOU!
Woke up this morning and sure enough she's gone but of course she was kind enough to leave me more dirty dishes, my kitchen floor dirty and trash to take out. Well duh I am not surprised, inconsiderate people are usually that way, she's the queen of them. I don't expect she will mail me a check for the keys as she said she would. I have NO desire to maintain any type of contact with this person and learned a major lesson. I learned don't let people stay with you aren't very close with or for more than 3 days. That they should have a spare key to use to come and go and not be clingy to me (I can't stand needy people!).

Now the 2nd bit of bad news is the fact that because tmw is when student registration opens for Fall 2012 classes at one school. And my boss had not been responding to ANY of my emails nor did he bothered to make the changes needed for my classes as requested repeatedly for quite a few weeks. That after stopping by his office again today for the 3rd time I finally asked to speak to someone higher up. Surely this has got to stop! I ended up speaking with one of the dean's administrative assistance about my concerns. First I asked is my boss ok? Has anything changed so maybe that is why he hasn't been responding and she said no. She had just seen him a few days ago and my boss was fine. Then I explained that I had been trying for weeks now to get my schedule straightened out for the Fall and tmw registration begins and I am panicking! I tried my best not to paint my boss out to be a terrible person but did express my frustration in regards to the lack of responses or acknowledgement of my concerns. That working more than one job means I need my boss to check with me for scheduling ahead of time and not just schedule me 1st and then ask me to work those times which almost never are good for me! I also mentioned that I am extremely loyal employee and a dedicated teacher. That I have higher than average reviews on my instruction and course quality at all my jobs and I would very much like to keep working at the school. But I shouldn't have to chase down my boss every semester to play these games of tag. I even told the assistant that I felt very bad to have to say anything at all and it is not my intention to create problems but she wasn't having any of it and asked me to write down what is going on and my contact email etc etc that she would be speaking to my boss or as she liked to say "sometimes you have to yell at them to wake them up." I left feeling really crappy and stopped by the store on my way home to pick up more fruits and veggies. Once I came home I ate lunch and watched some TV then checked my emails. Lo behold I got several from my boss and my boss did apologize and said I had every right to be upset. My boss immediately put in the schedule request which apparently one of the Deans had ordered to do so. Ouch that made me cringe and think oh man I hope my boss doesn't hold a grudge? I'd liked to think this will be the last time this is an issue between the 2 of us for next Spring 2013 schedule. That maybe this did sort of wake him up? Because I don't want this headache every semester anymore!
Now I am enjoying having my living room again. And I am grateful that my guest left this morning because I am tired of playing hostess to someone I really have grown to dislike tremendously but was trying to be a good person. Screw being polite!

aptly describes my employment as an instructor we do not have any stability and at times it can be quite stressful. I have made my 'career' this way but I really wish to have more stability because I give 110% to my students and classes, I'd like to be appreciated for it. Instead of treated like a 2nd class citizen with NO rights. I am fortunate because one of my schools is WONDERFUL to me and makes the effort to grant me my scheduling preferences and classroom locations. But that's not to say I didn't have to nudge them a lot in the past to get these things. I am very persistent and like a dog with a bone, I usually don't let go till I get my way. I mean if I am not being given health insurance and other benefits I could at least have a decent classroom to teach out of and a schedule that is appropriate for my lifestyle. It is frustrating these days to not know if I will even earn enough to pay my rent this summer or next fall? With the good school I am secure and happy. But with the 2nd one is always touch and go. How disappointing to have to keep jumping through these hoops every couple of months! I am bummed about this right now.

meanwhile the move last weekend went as smooth as to be expected. Both Baba and I were worn out but more so her because of a recent fall that left her more than just banged up. It hurts me to see someone I love in pain and I really hope the pain lessens for her as each day passes. And that she is adjusting to her new home favorably?

overall life is good with the exception of the above rant about work, I can't complain even tho I did :]