Had a better day today

Happy to report whatever mini funk I was in yesterday has mostly evaporated today. Don't get me wrong my apartment is in a royal mess. The ADD and organization do not go hand in hand. Try as I might all I ever seem to do is move piles! I'm hoping this fall is my Mom's health permits she will visit me and help set up my kitchen. When I was younger she helped me organize my earlier apartments. God bless her for doing so because I sure can't. Even if I do suceed in some sort of organization it falls in a disray in less than a week. The nuisance of my ADD is what's really bring me down currently. It gets tiring going in the same circles. I really have been actively seeking an ADD specialist or coach to help me learn how to do that and manage my time more effectively. Because well meaning advice from friends and family are mostly useless and annoying unless they understand ADD they have no idea how unbearable it can be at times.
I try not to complain because most of the time I like being me as a Deafie with ADD, I cannot be happy any other way. Its so interesting and stimultaneously depressing to realize on how much my ADD gets in the way of my potential and desire to be a better ME all around.
As you can see I'm not totally all the way back to happy go lucky self, that will arrive tmw :]

backing off

Well I think perhaps I may have come on a bit strong recently with an old flame that I've decided to back off and let him chase me. I made the mistake of being too honest and open about my feelings for him and now I feel sort of stupid because I broke my own rules. Let the man come after me, let him enjoy the thrill of the hunt. I can speak my mind later and openly when if and things develop between us? I at first thought texting back and forth was a good thing but in the past 2 days I feel like I am an annoying fly buzzing about and crowding him. So as hard as it is to resist the urge, I am going to. And hope things get back on track? If not, no biggie because while I like him a lot, I also LOVE my freedom and my life here in the city. I have tons of friends and a wonderful family. I also forget sometimes that hearing people may not use text messages at the frequency we Deafies do as its our way of keeping in touch the way they do when they call each other on the phone. How do hearing folks dating us Deafies feel about text messaging as the primary mode of communication when apart would be interesting to know. And he may just be the kind of guy that really only texts to inform whereabouts and an occasional flirty message rather than having conversations on it? I don't know but I am just backing off for now. Besides if he can't appreciate me for who I am (not that he has criticized or even hinted that he doesn't like me) then I am better off that it fizzles out now before I really get hurt. Argh its hard when you can't see the person face to face to know what's going on and how honest they're being?

This is an on-going issue with my ADD, the super focus. I get all crazy about whatever new interest I have and go into overdrive mode. I've been like this all my life, and many of these interests do stay with me but the intensity may wane a little. I just got to stop overthinking things and let things happen naturally or not at all. But I am determined to get myself under control here and keep my COOL!

Came across this article and found this passage to be dead-on

"The following are some reasons that make dating challenging for someone that has ADD: difficulty with time management, disorganization, being short tempered, impulsive behavior, being emotionally over reactive, inability to communicate clearly, forgetfulness, high level of frustration, hurtful outbursts and not being able to keep ones physical space in order."

The last one is my biggest thorn in my side in addition to being emotional, forgetful. I asked my shrink last month for affordable ADD coaching specifically for my inability to keep my home organized and efficient. It bothers me so much and I spend so much time trying to fix it and never succeeding. The shrink emailed me back today and is still looking into options so hopefully something will turn up?

I heart Instagram!

Yay found a way for my family and friend's to be able to see my IG photos :)
just use this link instagrid