This year's Thanksgiving was a quiet one without my Mom. She kept the conversations going. I still miss her that it aches.
She used to end her emails with "I still love you the best" the story goes somewhere in my childhood while my Mom was mothering one of my friends. And in my mind I thought she liked [loved] them more than me. So after I asked her one day about that, she replied "I will always love you the best!"
And for many years in fact decades she often ended her emails that way.
This Tuesday will be 11 weeks, but I lost her 13 weeks ago. The night I had to call 911 marked the beginning of the end. And despite a short conscious period, she was never 100% herself. One day she be overly accommodating saying she do whatever she needed to get better again. Then the next day she be uncooperative to the nursing staff. I don't blame her! She suffered a lot at their hands. Not that I fault them, well I kind of do! Specifically the nurses on the 4th floor really fucked up. But the ICU nurses were great.
I'm glad, thankful (pun intended) that Thanksgiving is over. The 2nd of many firsts for the next year...I hate it. And so it goes
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