Woe is me is from the Bible translation by Wycliff which was published in 1382. In the Bible it goes thus; “If I be wicked, woe unto me; and if I be righteous, yet will I not lift up my head. I am full of confusion; therefore see thou mine affliction.”
And cited in Shakespeare play Hamlet. That's probably where Baba heard it from and has said over the years.
The anguish is soul crushing and I'm falling behind with work. The pits of despair seems endless. And it is like I have forgotten how to be happy and hopeful.
I thought once the year had passed of Baba's passing I be doing better. But I feel worse than ever and I blame cymbalta a pain medication prescribed for my chronic pain to have made my depression worse. It hasn't helped with my pain and I don't feel like me.
I am grateful my Sexy German has been so good to me all through this. If I didn't have him I feel like I have no one. Sure my aunt and uncle and my big brother but other than them and a few close friends I'm alone.
I miss Baba and Mom terribly and cannot get over the injustice of my Mom's sudden passing. Sometimes it feels like I'm just killing time till. One day bleeds into the next.
Work despite my recent lagging still makes me happy but it is only a small part of my week.
The "I am thankful" posts I could do without and frankly an insult to Indengious folks that were robbed of their lands and annihilated.
Tomorrow will be a better day but today is a pity party kind of day.
In order to get better I resigned from volunteering for my 30th class reunion and the online professional course that I fell behind in is ending this week and I have given up on that course and realized I don't particularly want or need that skill set. Nonetheless I liked my teacher a lot. Will miss interacting with her.
Now all I have to do is focus on work and my health. That's it, I'm still anti social and will be so for a while especially with the cold and dark months ahead! Daylight savings sucks!
