Ostrich mode

Blame Pliny the Elder for creating the famous myth of Ostriches burying their heads in the sand when alarmed. According to Wikipedia [Pliny the Elder...] who wrote that Ostriches "imagine, when they have thrust their head and neck into a bush, that the whole of their body is concealed."

Nonetheless, I feel like I am sort of in Ostrich mode where I just am actively not thinking about certain things. Before I had the next 31/2 -4 years of my life planned out and now its all changed! I don't have the motivation to try to figure out my future or whether or not I will return to school? I just don't know? But I am doing a helluva lot better than I was a week ago. My body just doesn't handle stress well, never did and this time its my right trapezius muscle is flaring up almost daily. I literally think to myself, RELAX your shoulders! And I reek of tiger balm which means Tom my bastard Kitty occasionally scowls and scrunches up his little black button nose to show me he doesn't approve of my Tiger Balm scent. But he is never more than 1 or 2 feet away.

Yesterday was Mama Raccoon's baby shower, it went splendidly. Blondie and I made a great team. It was fun to plan this for my friend and it was a healthy distraction. Really it was a great day, the Indian food was good, the company even better. I always say food taste better when you share. The Indian food pleased everyone and afterwards we played a few baby shower games led by moi. Blondie decorated the place like it was a photo out of a magazine. I swear she has the Martha Stewart gene! I also got to see Car-man who is a doll and what I considered one of the most enlightened friend I have.

I will say in regards to this mess known as my life that having more downtime has been wonderful. For the 1st time since moving to my beloved apartment, I have been able to work on it little by little and keep it clean and under control. I am slowly creating a day to day system that works for me and Tom. I noticed lately all I want to do is nest, nest, nest, create a happy, peaceful home, pay my bills, work and spend time with family and friends.

Lastly for those of you Deafies who are history docu-drama freaks like me, I have good news for you! Through Netflix, Caligula staring Malcolm McDowell made in 1979 and is available on DVD but with neither closed captions or subtitles is available online streaming with subtitles! Yay! I watched 1/2 of it earlier today, GOOD. Warning if you're uncomfortable with nudity and downright cruelty, don't watch it but if you're like slighty morbid like me, you are in for a real treat!