I recently was subjected to an extreme form of anger/hostility during a current manic episode(s) by a close friend who's bipolar and the experience had left me shell shocked to say in the least. I'm extremely depressed by the depth of hate spewed/written to me. It is an awful event to bear and I'm just too PTSD I think from years of DV with my ex to bounce back quickly like I should.
I'm the type to lay low when injured and tend to my wounds. I just have zero energy to go out and socialize. I just want to be left alone and not have to explain why I look and feel crummy.
Tomorrow night I will head back to PA to grab more time with my family and to regroup myself a bit too. I just hate when my generosity is abused and I know bipolar is a disease. But as a sensitive soul such as I, its hard not to feel hurt by a friend I've known almost 7 years :/
The only goods that came from my short time back was the two day technology workshop I took at my job this week. It was great. I gained three important benefits from the workshop
I now know what current software is available for our instructors
Where to go for resources in pedagogy, tech support etc etc.. with my new job I want to be independent employee that goes above and beyond. I'm interested in technology and curriculum design. I'm excited by what knowledge I gained during the two day workshop. It makes me feel prepared to start the fall semester right!
And the guy who coordinated the event seems like a stand up guy and I feel I could possibly develop a good rapport with him. I've also toyed with the idea of asking him to be my mentor for professional development later this fall. But first I want to start the new semester and get used to having my own office, whee, I am super jazzed by that! Very cool!
So even though my spirits lie low at current press time, I'm still grateful for all of my good fortunes.
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