Grief update

I managed to get back to sleep this morning for a few hours...
This coming Tuesday will be 4 weeks since Mom died.  I have been extremely antisocial at work last week and know I'll be so again this week. I don't want to be bothered by anything beyond my job.  I don't want to deal with the co workers and all the extra stuff that I do.
I find my mind to be like a broken record especially when I'm alone or sleeping my mind plays endless loops of Mom. I try to think of other things but to no avail. The crying spells comes and goes. I don't mind,  I'm not going to try to bury my grief, only live thru it.
My Mom's cat Callie is now mine. It makes me happy that Mom knows her cat is with me and will be taken care of for the rest of her kitty life.
I also feel tired and achy all the time. With the dark winter months ahead, I'm worried I'll fall into a major depressive episode.
I'm not sure why I wrote all this but I needed to vent.