been dealing with my own bs. Perhaps
explained in a future blog post but for
now I'm gonna stick with my title of
this post;
Guess what happened to me the other
day through the power of Facebook?
My ex's girlfriend or maybe his wife now
who I refer to as the "Whore" all this time,
(a term Chanda introduced to me back in
the day when she spoke of her father's
new wife.) Anyways the whore
contacted me to request we be
"friends." There was no personal msg
address to me. Only a family photo
of her, my ex *who got FAT btw,
karamas a bitch aint it?*, and
their 3 kids. (The girl looks adorable).
I was so surprised and weirded out by
this because she and I never knew each
other. That is until my ex had the
brillant idea of bringing HER to my
birthday party a little over a year
after we had broken up. Let me tell
you, that incident still ignites me when
I think about it. It was such a slap
in the face, after being with my ex
for over 6 years. He showed up at
an event for me and Blondie and all
of our friends with her who he had
been dating shortly and got knocked
up within a month of dating, hence
her nickname the whore ;}
So of course I was telling Baba last night,
after I arrived to PA, about the whore
contacting me and how ridicolous it all
was! Baba ofc wanted to see their
photo (which I showed her earlier
today.) She added its normal to
experience the "what ifs" like what
if my life had gone a different way...
What would my life be now? Truly,
I can't imagine, because by the time
we had broken up, I had almost no self
esteem. I had spent such a long time trying
to make something work that wasn't
working despite my feelings for him.
I wanted to please him so he would be
happy, but he never was. You see, I
used to believed loves conquers all
but now I know better. As Baba said
way back then "Love doesn't put
food on the table." While love is
important, its only 1 part of a loving
relationship and we didn't have all
the parts.
Now, when I examine my life since
my ex, there's no doubt in my mind it
was for the best. Its hard for me to
imagine what my life wouldve been
like if we hadn't broken up. But Baba
did remind me of what I had done since
which was go to grad school.
And since then I've mulled over that and
reflected on my life and what I've
done for the past 6 years;
-I was an assistant basketball coach for
2 years at MSD
-ive made over 10-15 films (some are
not finished)
-ive moved to NYC and lived here for
the past 4 years now :]
-ive taught at an University and will
continue so. (Major perk, my
students address me as prof. ...
Which is always good for my ego)
-ive gone from a size 10 to an 8,
had Lasik done for 20/40 vision,
chest reduction from DD to Cs,
veneers and I'm happier for it.
I don't care if anyone thinks I'm
superficial for it. Two things about
me, I spent most of my youth feeling
unattractive or self concious and
decided I wanted to feel good about
myself for the remainder of my life
and I do. 2ndly I'm VAIN! I'm
not drop dead gorgeous, but I'm
pretty please with my reflection in the
mirror. Most of the time, I feel cute.
-i attended WFD conference in Montreal,
volunteered for Deaf Way II
-ive become an active member in the
Deaf-blind community thanks to
Bernice and Ronnie
-ive been on major tv sets such as
Law and Order as an extra,
and ASL advisor for All My Children...
So you know what? I'm not gonna focus
on the fact I haven't started a family
and do focus on the things I want to
do with my future. Cuz if these past 6 years
are any indication for my future, then
things are looking pretty good!
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