The John Maucere Talk Show

Yesterday for my Halloween weekend I made a new friend visiting from Maine that Ronnie suggested I get to know which I happily did so. We met up in Queens and he brought 2 other friends, one of them I knew superficially from before but have always been fond of him and made a new friend, a man who used grew up in Ireland and moved to the states at age 25. I met all 3 guys at the Queens subway stop 74th & Broadway (Jackson Heights area) by Lexington School for the Deaf. We went to a nice Indian buffet and had a splendid time chatting over dinner. It was nice to be with new people.

Unbelievably it snowed here yesterday and I was grateful for my LL Beans Wellies which kept my toes dried and warm. The snow was BEAUTIFUL and I know many people grumble but not me, its awesome. The ground however was a slushy mess anyone who wasn't wearing some type of water proof shoes would be damned yesterday.

After we ate we headed over to Lexington School for the Deaf to watch The John Maucere Talk Show with Paul Raci. As per usual the show started later than schedule, typical DST (Deaf Standard Time) although they said it was to give people extra time to arrive from the lousy weather. But we all know its because the latecomers are also on DST ;P

What I didn't know about the show was it was suppose to be a David Letterman, Jay Leno type show with the host John Maucere, his "sidekick" a CODA (I think?) terp Paul Raci (like Andy Richter was to Conan O'Brien). You probably recognize Paul from Switched At Birth or as I learned last night is signed SAB. Anyways Paul plays the male terp that follows the character Daphine on SAB when she takes a cooking class at a nearby I think private hearing school. He seems pretty nice and relatable. I had no idea he had a long acting history till I saw his resume on IMDB website but he sure does. John even had his music arena covered by DJ Supalee which was cool cuz I had heard a lot about him over the years.

Back to the show because talk shows often involve a "live studio audience" we became that essentially. They filmed the show which meant stop, start, stop, start. John Maucere is extremely lucky to have David Rivera as his personal cheer leader! I am not sure what his role is called? I guess maybe an MC or the side show performer? On the program he is listed as a Tickler which I have no idea what that means? Jester? Not sure but my point is David Rivera did a FANTASTIC job keeping the energy up and never did he leave us hanging or bored. I give him the award for best performer and entertainer for last night's show. Sorry John, I saw you perform your materials at Deaf Timberfest in PA in 2010 and that was great but last night the oscar goes to Mr. Rivera! I think it was good Mr. Rivera engaged his audience and his ASL skills top-notch, basically its candy for the eyes. Of course the joke I told was too "hearing" but really I was the 1st one to get on the stage and get that ball rolling so I did my part for my fellow Deafies :D

John Maucere also had 2 guests appear, Patty O a sustainable fashion designer who's work I have seen on and off over the years. I would've liked to have seen her clothes showcased over the totes "made from my ex's jeans" which I did think was clever gimmick and of course sustainable, no waste involved. I guess it was just like oh, we only get to see her totes no other items?

The other guest was Sean Berdy who plays Emmet on the TV show Switched at Birth (SAB). It was cute because there were these 4 teenie boopers hearing girls sitting in the right front row, basically his groupie, fan club so cute! Sean reminded me of my old friend JT from MSSD, similar signing style and level of confidence but he comes off nicer person than JT ever was. I got to say Sean is one of the brighter one, I will be curious to follow his career as time goes by and if he along with Katie LeClerc character can help change mainstream audience mindset on what Deaf(ness) is all about? I am hopeful for the 1st time in a long time. When everyone was all ga ga over this show when it first came out. I resisted, all I could think of was the previous attempts of Hollywood on us Deafies and I cringe. I don't think I can ever forgive Kelly Martin for portraying us Deafies as retarded people (yes I say retarded because it was retarded they had her act that way!). God there were scenes where she ran to a piece of clothing and sniffed it! SNIFFED it? like a dog would come on!?! Ugh so I did not see Sean Berdy's show till last month thru netflix and then I became one of the blathering fans of the show SAB on FB! The audience really did treat Sean Berdy like a celebrity, during one short break people rushed to take photos of Sean and John, very interesting. I know Alexa W for many years, met Terrylene, Deanna Bray, worked with Darren F, Flash and many other performers so seeing Sean Berdy did not send me into a fan frenzy mode like I was when I met the magician David Blaine on the train a few years back. Nonetheless I enjoyed seeing Sean on the show and running into old faces with other attendees. In total a good I think 3 hours we sat there but I am glad we did, we got to root each other on. If you get a chance to catch The John Maucere Talk Show with Paul Raci, do so, why should the hearies have all the fun?!

When the show ended and the guys and I said our goodbyes I dropped them off at the trains and headed back to Manhattan to see Blondie but we didn't go out to celebrate Halloween. The weather was lousy and no one really seemed in the mood. That's fine, there is talk of pumpkin carving tmw so I am happy with that.

Ostrich mode

Blame Pliny the Elder for creating the famous myth of Ostriches burying their heads in the sand when alarmed. According to Wikipedia [Pliny the Elder...] who wrote that Ostriches "imagine, when they have thrust their head and neck into a bush, that the whole of their body is concealed."

Nonetheless, I feel like I am sort of in Ostrich mode where I just am actively not thinking about certain things. Before I had the next 31/2 -4 years of my life planned out and now its all changed! I don't have the motivation to try to figure out my future or whether or not I will return to school? I just don't know? But I am doing a helluva lot better than I was a week ago. My body just doesn't handle stress well, never did and this time its my right trapezius muscle is flaring up almost daily. I literally think to myself, RELAX your shoulders! And I reek of tiger balm which means Tom my bastard Kitty occasionally scowls and scrunches up his little black button nose to show me he doesn't approve of my Tiger Balm scent. But he is never more than 1 or 2 feet away.

Yesterday was Mama Raccoon's baby shower, it went splendidly. Blondie and I made a great team. It was fun to plan this for my friend and it was a healthy distraction. Really it was a great day, the Indian food was good, the company even better. I always say food taste better when you share. The Indian food pleased everyone and afterwards we played a few baby shower games led by moi. Blondie decorated the place like it was a photo out of a magazine. I swear she has the Martha Stewart gene! I also got to see Car-man who is a doll and what I considered one of the most enlightened friend I have.

I will say in regards to this mess known as my life that having more downtime has been wonderful. For the 1st time since moving to my beloved apartment, I have been able to work on it little by little and keep it clean and under control. I am slowly creating a day to day system that works for me and Tom. I noticed lately all I want to do is nest, nest, nest, create a happy, peaceful home, pay my bills, work and spend time with family and friends.

Lastly for those of you Deafies who are history docu-drama freaks like me, I have good news for you! Through Netflix, Caligula staring Malcolm McDowell made in 1979 and is available on DVD but with neither closed captions or subtitles is available online streaming with subtitles! Yay! I watched 1/2 of it earlier today, GOOD. Warning if you're uncomfortable with nudity and downright cruelty, don't watch it but if you're like slighty morbid like me, you are in for a real treat!

Waving a white surrender flag....

Well I have had my share of bad days, but today is one of the worst by far. I had to drop out of school COMPLETELY for several reasons. One was the lack of support services I desperately needed. And two I had stretched myself too thin to handle teaching 4 classes and taking 2 very heavy courses. To make matters worse, the one course I was taking where I was barely getting by is not an option for me to take solo. Basically the 1st course I dropped must be taken at the same time or prior to the 2nd course that I had intended to keep this semester. I do feel the stress of constantly chasing for support services since last winter was unneeded pressure and eroded my self confidence along with this month's early rejection. Basically my core foundation has been shooken up that its life an aftermath of a hurricane. My insides are all in a knot and my emotions are all over the place. My patience level was at a nil too, the last several weeks I found myself getting ridiculously angry over stupid things that happened to me in the world or with strangers. I hated how I was overreacting to things because I was overtired.

When I made the decision to drop one of my courses 2 days ago I finally found a sense of relief. I did feel like a cop out but people reminded me I was being way too hard on myself. Plus by dropping one of my courses, I would be putting off grad school for a year. Then I told myself, hey this isn't a race. One extra year won't kill you if it helps you succeed in the long run. Here I was relaxing and looking forward to completing my school semester in good academic standing when I recieved the bombshell that the 2nd course would not be an option due to the 1st one. I felt humilated because I already emailed the professor of the course explaining I was withdrawing and stated how I hoped to take the class again this spring. There is NO WAY I will grovel and asked to be readmitted to that class. And I wouldn't have to WD from that class had I gotten the support services I needed and was entitled to since last winter! Ugh I feel SICK and way beyond upset. I've emailed the school's higher ups and explained the situation. I hope somehow this will all be resolved to allow me to return in the spring. And that it isn't all ruined. I have had some friends who also experienced severe discrimination as Deaf college students at hearing colleges/universities with getting the proper support service. I know I am not an isolated case. Nonetheless it still sucks. I just want to crawl into bed and come out next spring! And part of me is getting tired of being repeatedly knocked down, whether its school, work or relationships. I keep bouncing back maintaining the 'can do attitude' but not this time. I am down for the count, complete KO.