Much to my pleasure while working on the end of semester grades. I received 2 different Facebook msgs from 2 different guys asking me out. One I met through Mama Raccoon and already knew he liked me and would ask me out sooner or later. The other one I ran into at a Deaf event. We remember meeting a while ago but can't remember where? He just moved back to NYC. Both guys are Deaf and from NYC.
Its mind boggling because in the past 6 months I have gotten more attention for being cute than I have my entire life. I don't know what changed but whatever it is, I'm enjoying it while it lasts. And the flirty behavior knows no age, I have guys in their 20s and as old as their 50s making it known to me they think I'm sexy which is a major ego boosts.
Part of me is torn because of my age I worry if I dont 'snap' someone up right now my shelf life may expire and ill end up a lonely old miserable cat lady. There are lots of articles online that basically say women in their late 30s are doomed. And that sure doesn't make me feel good. And the other part of me is afraid to be tied dwn to any one man. I entertain the idea of having many lovers rather than one main love interest. It seems to me the odds of a loving, compatible long term relationship beyond 5 yrs are slim. I dont want to confuse love with co-dependency. But I don't want to not have a special someone to share my life with. Decisions decisions...if I could only know what my life will be like in 10 yrs from now I would feel better about the present. Fuck it, I can't be worried about that now. Life goes on, with or without a main love squeeze and I am ironically happier when I'm single I've noticed. As much as I liked the last guy, a lot of my happiness was tied to him and dating him rather than my life as a whole. I must learn to stop doing THAT!
No comments:
Post a Comment