Boo effing hoo!

So the ex is mad that he had to pay one of his bills instead of me. Boo effing hoo! Cry me a river you piece of sh*t! For once man up! There's no way in hell I would pay for ANYTHING after we broke up.
And he's so deluded to think I don't know about his buck tooth herion lover/ roommate/criminal etc etc.. she and her kids are stupid enough to make everything public including photos that point to his betrayal!
Mostly I've been in great spirits except whenever he contacts me it my mood for a few hrs.
I cannot wait to get my things from his Mom in a few weeks. I won't EVER have to deal with his sorry a$$ again!
I am so glad I trusted my instincts that it be a terrible idea to live with him. I would end up supporting him, no thanks. Been there, done that! I work too damn hard to have a guy rip me off. He took advantage of my generosity by the leaps and bounds!
And yet he expects me to feel bad that his account is overdrawn or that I've "ruined" his week. If I don't matter to him how could I ruin his week? Nope he's a miserable f*ck all on his own. He ruined his life over and over again. I gave a criminal the benefit of the doubt my bad!
I look forward to reading about him in the paper whenever he gets arrested again and goes to prison for a while. It's only a matter of time, the recipe of a heroin addicts and his bipolar anger issues will be a giant disaster. I don't even need karma, it will happen on its own.

Such White Trash!

Well the very next night after I last posted on here, I ended things. I couldn't take the constant rejection I was feeling ever since his female roommate moved in. And the worst part of it all is she's a recovering heroin addict who went to jail for shooting up drugs with her daughter who overdosed and almost died!
This is who he is choosing to spend his free time with instead of me? WTF! I will never again date someone beneath me. I would have never given him the time of day if it wasn't due to our history.
I hate how it ended and today by cutting off the cable, internet and his phone all in my name. He was so furious that I finally blocked him after we picked a date and time for me to get my things. I don't see any reason to continue to communicate.
But I will miss him in many ways. I'll miss his hugs and kisses, our wonderful sex life, having him in my corner, and how he stood by me through 2 deaths, a robbery, a car wrecked and so on.
But the truth is we didn't have much in common. There wasn't alot of bonding over shared activities or interests. He was very antisocial and hated to go to any events or celebrate any holidays.
We loved each other a lot, but it wasn't enough.
I feel like when his roommate moved in that when things deteriorated the way they did. He wasn't making any time for me and it was like I was being punished and I didn't really understand why?!? How can he go from loving me to pushing me away under the guise of an illness but in fact it was due to her! I should have known better but as usual I put up with way too much. I kind of don't trust my judgement when it comes to men.
I am also relieved that it ended. I no longer have to prove my love to my ex. I was constantly trying to make him happy and it never worked.
But I'm also looking forward to meeting someone new down the road. Not now while my heart mends but it won't be that long to heal. Certainly not after finding out he is living with a heroin addict and he blew a good thing with me! What white trash they are. And I don't even care if I come off as a snob. I  have much higher standards.
It's been an emotional rollercoaster ride since the breakup. I've been single for a week now. I'm getting used to referring him as the ex. And I am no longer being taken finacial advantage of!
So I will heal, move on and find someone who isn't a criminal, sociopathic or has serious mental problems.
Life is too short to let this breakup derail me any further.

The Abyss, The Unknown...

Things with my Sweetie have not been going well. He is struggling with my decision not to move in with him. I already played house twice with 2 other boyfriends. I don't need to live with the person I'm dating. It's not worth it! The day by day living with a significant other in my opinion erodes things.
And sadly as much as I love him, I don't want to live with him. And I don't want to live with a smoker, or in the boonies or away from my beloved city and support system. And because of that he has become withdrawn and antisocial. Acting hot and cold has me feeling panicky.
I am not handling it well at all. I miss his companionship. I miss his support. I miss feeling like he's on my side.
It also upsets me because WHENEVER he needed me,  I came through but my decision not to live together somehow in his mind means I don't love him! Christ! I have moved heaven and earth to affirm my love for him.
And I'm sad too because I'm unsure if in 6 months from now we will even still be together?
It sucks the uncertainty of it all.