Pity Party is over

I have been in bed most of the weekend, feeling miserable about the breakup, money woes and just when it rains it pours! But I almost didn't come to work today but decided, enough is enough?! I cant let life bring me down. I gotta bounce back up and get into the swing of life. Last Thursday when I worked I felt a million times better. I should've kept more busy this past weekend but perhaps thats what I needed to do? 'Lie still and bleed a while?' A little self reflection goes a long way. Clyde and I have been emailing each other, contemplating on what we did wrong and how to make things right. I just wanted to let everyone who checked in on me and left me messages how much I appreciate your support. I just wish people would stop telling me what they want me to do and let me come to my own conclusions. I wouldn't have dated Clyde if my feelings for him weren't genuine. So for now, I ask to be allowed to decide for myself whether or not after the break we give it another go?

I did watch a lot of movies during the pity party such as Walk The Line. I thought the movie was excellent, sure a little slow at times but overall the sense of longing from Johnny Cash hit close to home with me in many ways.

Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon are both excellent actors! I was disappointed to learn they both passed away in 2003. I am a new fan of their music!


I also watched an educational film on Langston Hughes who is my favorite poet of all time with "Let America Be America Again." His way with words and the ability for the common reader to actually understand what the heck he is saying rather some mumbo jumbo crap that I see a lot of poets use won me over years ago.

My boss/friend Eddie came in and for some reason I just bawled at him. I look forward to getting my emotions more even-keel. Its a curse at times to be so sensitive while it makes me empathetic it also makes me feel weak at times. Like I wish I was one of those folks who always kept their cool. But then again I wouldn't be me or have the ability to work with such diverse groups of people. Because while at times I may cry easily, I can also love just as easily. Eddie was so good, he let me say my piece and reminded me how many friends and my family all care for me and to keep busy. I agree and I am glad I am at work today, its a good distraction. And it gives me a sense of accomplishment.