Worn down

My spirits have not completely bounced back to my usual self for the past few weeks. I received a crushing blow to my ego and its kind of making everything feel a lot harder. I know I shouldn't take this particular rejection personally but I do. I keep foraging forward and normally it would help take the sting out of this thorn in my side but this time it isn't. Ugh am I a Debbie Downer or what? I feel like a complainer and I hate complainers!

Anyways for my 1 night of fun, I went waaaaaay downtown Manhattan for the 85th San Gennaro (Italian Festival) with Blondie and Raccoon Mama.

So here's me and Mama Raccoon waiting in line to get into Ferrara's Bakery & Cafe.
Note the bags under my eyes, just lovely, thank you stress!

We ate at the famous Lombardi's pizzeria which I had eaten there once before about 6 years back with the Pateman. I immediately recognized the place and gushed to the girls how good their pizza is! And it was, sure its pricey and for a person like me who isn't a pizza fanatic, this place is GOOD! But still nothing beats Ledo's Pizza back in MD. Sorry NYers, Ledos is still CHAMP of all.

Since it was raining on and off, the crowd wasn't so packed which we appreciated with Raccoon Mama being almost 32 weeks preggars! For desserts we went to the also famous Ferrara's Bakery and Cafe. Raccoon Mama highly recommended their Hot Chocolate as being the best in the world. And she was right! Sinfully delicious. Reminded me a little of the hot stove top chocolate pudding Baba used to make. When the pudding would cool off enough and you pushed back the skin that formed on top, tasting that still warm chocolate pudding was similar to their Hot Chocolate only theirs is creamier with more milk. Their desserts are pretty good too, nothing that makes me want to run back but still for their hot chocolate, hell yeah!

Yesterday and today I've been buried with studies for my 2 exams this week and grading student homework. I haven't been able to find the time to do my lesson plans or study for the quiz tmw night. So tmw afternoon once I've completed my morning exam, I will take care of a few things and study for the quiz. Then tmw night do my lesson plans. Tues squeeze in time between teaching 3 classes to study for my 2nd exam for Wednesday morning. Man I will be ready for a visit to my hometown next weekend. I need the R&R, even tho I will have to study while I am there. Being around Baba and Mom uplifts me as well as the rest of the family whom I probably won't have time to see while I am there :(

Lastly, here's a of Tom that Raccoon Mama took yesterday late morning. She has a program that can change the style of the photo so while Tom looks reddish in this, he's actually Gray with white along the anterior surface. My Bastard Kitty is the best roommate EVER!

Dissection kit

Yesterday my dissection kit arrived and today I got to use my scapel and forceps on a cadaver. It truly was a neat thing to be able to study the human body like this! Talk about up close and personal. I swear, if I was younger, I would go to medical school and maybe study autopsy. I wish my age wasn't working against me. I really wished I hadn't given up on science like I did when I was younger and allowed it to become a mental block for many years. The appreciation for anatomy was there all along! I just figured my poor science background made it an impossible dream to do anything with mediciene. I just wish I had more time and less debts.

Earlier today I was comparing other OT Master programs in the area and by far, my school is deAfinitely the most hardcore when it comes to their science and training expectations. I appreciate that. I also think I am slowly becoming friends with one physician assistant student who I think is a terrific girl! I met her during my summer A&P II course and I think in the next class I am going to ask her if she would like to study together sometimes or work the labs sometimes? I will say my cadaver crew, there are 5 of us assigned to one body (only the left side, the right side is for a different class) are a nice bunch. I also enjoy this cadaver class because its based on Gross Anatomy (what one can see with the eyes). Nice change of pace from the molecular & cellular level. I do have to worry about the dreaded spinal cord (dura matter etc etc), the plexuses/nerves and a few other areas that I struggled with last semester. I better master it this time around.

I have also decided this semester to seek out study buddies for both of my class as they are so intensive! And 2 off the top of my head (1 from each class) is the girl I mentioned recently and 1 guy from my Monday night's class. Funny cuz they're both so super brainy, but hey so am I! Besides if you want to be the best you have to surround yourself with the best!

On a different note as a Deafie, it is very hard to watch the terps and look at anatomy photos or bodies. Really, by the time the terps finishes spelling a word, they've moved on to the next area of identification. My terps are kick ass that's not the problem its just when one is Deaf, their eyes can only be looking at so many places at the one time! Luckily for me the lab assistant say she would be willing to show me separately and that's a-okay with me. I prefer that so that way I can actually see what's being identified. Let the hearies squirm against one another for a good view, I'll take a different path. I have NO trouble requesting services or informing my professors what I need. For example this semester in both of my courses there are audio based materials. I do not want terps for that, I want the transcript. I want direct translation and I want to be able to review it again and again just like my peers who may chose to listen to the audio files however many times they like.

Also my Monday night class was way cool! I go to practice palpation on the guy who I hope will be my study buddy. Very nice kid, this is our 3rd class together. We had to identify the scapula (lateral border, medial/vertebral border, spine, superior angle, inferior angle, subscapular fossa and acromion which by the way is a little hard to find). I am digging biomechanics! Guess what else? I have to buy some "wife beater" tank tops for this class. As there is a clothing policy and whatever we are studying we must be able touch directly via skin. I will get over my displeasure of wearing these tops because everyone of us has to.

As for my teaching, I feel like I am off to a pretty good start. I am staying ahead of my lesson plans despite having to master a new edition of a curriculum that I was never fond of. And surprisingly my 1 boss speaks highly of me in front of me, so my earlier concerns can be put to rest. Whew!

I was feeling kind of down earlier today but I can't let it stop the momentum. Next course of action is to find study buddies so that I can be on top of my game. I cannot afford mistakes or any grade lower than an A- in both of my classes. Otherwise my chances for grad school acceptance is minimal. Competition is fierce today and I got to beat out I think 80 other applicants. Ugh talk about pressure but its the kind that's only added fuel to this fire!

Failure is not an Option!

I ordered one of those folding shopping carts a while back and its just been sitting there collecting dust. All because I couldn't figure out how to put on the wheels, which included washers, springs and pins among other things. I am not very good with assembling instructions and did a while back make a 1/2 hearted attempt to assemble this cart. Obviously I did not succeed. I was lazy and waiting on Blondie who is a wizard at assembling furniture to do it for me. She helped me attach my new headboard before I went out of town. And she all by herself put 2 sitting chairs together for a dinning set I ordered along with the cart. Well earlier tonight I wanted to put the cart together and I finally did it! Don't get me wrong, I made a few mistakes and went back to fix them such as forgetting the almighty powerful spring component to the front wheel set. Otherwise the small wheel on the right would roam back and forth, not at all stable without the spring. And the satisfaction of it being done feels good! I know some of you reading out there think I am nuts but as a person with ADD and low frusturation threshold, this counts as a small victory to be happy about :]
Now when I go food shopping I can use this to transport food in and out of my car instead of trying to carry it all from my car or even sometimes from the store. Its so close by it feels silly to drive! Plus it gives me an opportunity to cross the 207 bridge. Too bad there's not a walk way on both sides of the bridge. I would love a north view too not only the south.

Mom's key lime pie was a HIT :) I was relieved Blondie liked it because she is not the type who eats a lot of sweets. Luckily this pie is TART, not sickening sweet.

This week will be my 1st full week...I can already see my 1 anatomy class is going to be extremely time consuming, and from skimming over the syllabus for my other anatomy class that starts this coming Monday, I get the feeling these 2 classes are heavy duty. Luckily for me, I am such a nerd now with my Bastard Kitty Tom here with me that I will do it. I am committed to furthering my potential as a human being and to be financially secure for once in my life with a career I feel matters. If I can help any one ever live their life to the fullest, that's something an OT student like myself can be proud of. I just can't imagine not doing this, as its not an option to fail.

Re-adjusting

My Bastard Kitty finally graces my home with his presence and its been glorious to have him here. He has never been far from my heart these past almost 4 years while he was at Mom. Never again will I lose my Tom-Tom. I considered him to be my Dæmon (from a book triology written by Philip Pullman called His Dark Materials). Although humans are physically separate from their dæmons, they are metaphysically connected, and most human-dæmon pairs cannot bear to be distanced by more than several yards. Its true because while we have been separated he appears in my dreams, I literally longed for him. I don't remember which one of these books I read, it was only one that Knob raved about and I gave it a shot. Didn't much care for the book, but the dæmon part has stayed with me to this day. And Tom is it.

Earlier today I took my 1st nap in God knows how long? I seriously haven't taken one in probably over a year or two. And it felt good to wake up and see Tom lying next to my head, sprawled out and fast asleep with me. Even now as I blog he's at the edge of my bed keeping an eye on things as that's his job you know. I won't be so lonely studying this semester as I have been in the past.

Today is literally my last day of freedom in probably the next 11 months. Sure I get off for the holidays but its not the same as summer breaks or vacation that doesn't revolve around a major holiday. As Baba keeps saying this Spring will probably be the hardest yet but for now I just got to worry about getting through another challenging anatomy class and from what I read at Rate My Professor, mine is tough! I will have to learn exactly how to study for this new teacher because with my old one and a favorite (he was so cute and sweet but tough) I knew how to zero in on possible areas. Ugh I am a little freaked out about this 8:30am class 2xs a week for the next 4 months! Anyone who knows me well knows I don't do mornings. What makes those mornings even worse is my class ends at around 11:40am and then I don't have class or teach that night till 6pm at the same campus. Most likely on those 830am days I will go back and forth to home and back to the school and either to study or to nap or to do lesson plans/grades.

So what exciting things do I have on my agenda the next few days here in the Big Apple? I am going to go to the DMV either tmw in between classes or on Thurs before meeting a friend whom I haven't seen in a few years for lunch at Grand Central station. Tmw night after I teach my 1st class its off to Blondie for dinner. She's making pot roast, yum yum I can't hardly wait for a home cooked meal! I am spoiled by Mom's these past few weeks. She even made me sirloin tips which I hadn't had in 20 plus years. As well as my all time favorite that's always a hit, the stove top BBQ chicken over rice. Meanwhile I also made Mom's recipe of a no bake key lime pie which is truly the simplest recipe yet.

1/2 cup of lime juice (preferably KEY lime)
1 can (14 oz) of sweeten condense milk
1 (8oz) of cream cheese
1 graham cracker or oreo crusted pie shell
1 (8oz) of cool whip

Step 1
Let the cream cheese sit on the counter for 1 hour to soften (trust me on this I didn't and it made it harder to blend)

Step 2
then mix the cream cheese, sweetened condensed & milk lime juice with an electric mixer till silky smooth (mine still had tiny bits of cream cheese which I hope won't be noticable?)

Step 3
Pour into the pie shell and let it sit in the fridge for a few hours.

Step 4
Let the cool whip (if still frozen) sit out for a while till soft

Step 5
Layer the whipped cream on top of the pie and stick back in the fridge for a few more hours.

The cool whip helps balance the tartness and thickness of the pie which is as I type this mouth watering DAMN GOOD! Also the pie does not require covering during this time, but once you serve it and have left overs, use foil or pie cover to keep it fresh. Tmw night I will bring this delicious treat to share with Blondie and Eddie! So Mom, thanks again for the great recipe! You see all of us, Baba, Mom and I are the kind of cooks that like recipes that are simple to make. I don't believe in tons of processed food but a healthy balance of some recipes using either few ingredients or some pre-made stuff is the only way I will be motivated to cook at home. I don't mind cooking if it doesn't take me forever to make and extensive cleanup. After all here in the city almost no one in an apartment has a dishwasher, this means EVERYTHING is hand washed. I am proud though since moving to this wonderful apartment, I do cook a lot more than I did at the old one. I admit my ex was right, it was too small to really live in comfortably. Here I actually have a KITCHEN. Not a little walk by area between my front door, the bathroom and the living room.

Last Friday night, I went to the Green Dragon with David, Nancy and Bobby. On the way there we saw a sign at one gas station that read this;

Here's me signing worms in ASL with Uncle David

Here's Nancy and David apparently excited about the possibilities &
don't ask me why David maintains a deadpan Amish if you will face-like expression?

I do miss my family, and I can't wait for some of them to visit. I am even determined that Baba comes for a 2 day visit at least. For once I am living in a nice place and I want her to see my home and see my life here. I am more than willing to drive her to and from PA to NYC and back. She will read this and think I am crazy but I am not and that's that. Its just a matter of when? Perhaps over x-mas? Either way we will order Chinese food and watch fun holiday movies like Christmas Story.

My aunt Nancy and I were also talking some about hers, David and Bobby's visit here and I figure if not this fall for sure this Spring. I want them to come on a weekend when I know Town & Village Synagogue will have ASL terps (thanks to Bram & Marcia and many others!) so they can come and meet my congregation as I consider T&V the place to be! Yes they should come in the spring, the Fall too many American and Jewish High Holidays to contend with. I would love for them to come in Feb when its bleak and cheer me up!

Mom's visit we talked about I think maybe around Thanksgiving? She come here and then we drive back together. Details will be arranged but Mom if that's not doable thats okay too, we can wait till xmas or later if necessary.

And don't forget too, my home is OPEN to all of my friends who ever want to come. Even if I am stuck with exams or whatnots, they will have the keys to come and go and we can always have lunch or dinners together. I owe a bunch of friends my couch to surf on as many have graciously opened their home to me these past 5 years.

Lastly I am THRILLED with my new internet service. No more portable crappy lose-the-signal internet!!! Nope, bye bye, all gone and never to return. I was able to view netflix streaming and hulu shows without choppy, waiting-forever-to load media!!! Whee, w00t, Yay!

Been bitten by the FB bug!

Lately I am just KISS-FIST facebook! Fyi for those who are Deaf culture-impaired KISS-FIST is the sign where you kiss the back of your hand (your hand is a fist) and it means you really dig/enjoy/relish etc etc... Facebook is just a great way to keep in touch with everyone you know and since I am single again, I am rekindling friendships that were neglected and making new or stronger ones with existing ones.

I realize facebook isn't for everyone and at times it can actually be destructive when used to torment or harrass others but in general my experience with facebook has been mostly positive!

Back to saving mode!

Lately I have been re-inspired to start couponing and getting free samples again thanks to Thrifty Deafies website, facebook group and youtube videos! Now I finally understand Wal-mart's coupon policy from this video whee!

Also the following stores offer free samples too (just google the name of the store + free samples)
Wal-mart
K-Mart
Target
Sam's club (sometimes)

Samples are great for when you travel or you run out of something, that little bottle of conditioner can be a lifesaver one morning before dashing off to work!