There Are No Do-Overs

The 1 year passing of my Mom's death is fast approaching. After I became functional again a few months ago, I spend a lot of time revisiting the past. I truly start to understand you don't get do overs. Not that I'm living in a sea of regrets, some sure but others are more about reviewing in a sense reliving and appreciating my past memories especially of my Mom. It's true if you live long enough, you start to yearn for the past the way life was. The simpler times as they say. And it is humbling and it sucky simultaneously.
I still cry pretty much everyday but for a brief while I would cry every 2 to 3 days. I know partly it's due to the costant triggers of being in my hometown and having  millions of memories of where my Mom and I went, what we did etc etc.. I greive a lot when I'm alone or at night.
Work will give me relief soon but not till after September 13th or near then. But even so my heart is still broken. I am in no rush to to be okay that she died because I'm not okay. My Mom was a gift to me, I'm so glad she didn't give me up for adoption.
I miss you and love you to pieces Mom! (in case there is an afterlife with internet and you're reading this!)