Oliver, I won't ever forget you

Last Wednesday night on my way home from work, I passed my neighbors apt and saw an orange and white cat. This was the same cat I saw 2 months ago wandering around but he had more meat on his bones. Then 2 weeks ago while walking to the corner store, a bunch of neighborhood kids were gathered around this same cat and informed me as I passed, the cat was homeless. Which I knew so I brought it kitten food because it wasn't fully grown. Plus when I got home I immediately got 2 bowls (left over from chinese/sushi takeouts) and filled it with cat food and nice cold water for the cat to have. Then when I saw him again on Wednesday night, he just wanted some attention and was so skinny it broke my heart. He followed me home and I couldn't bear not to help him in spite of knowing Jack would not react well to the idea of me bringing home a stray cat.

Jack threw a fit, he didnt want the cat here because he didnt want fleas. I told him I would keep the cat in the bathroom, especially once I realized Jack was right the cat had major case of fleas. Again I went to the same corner store and brought more cat food and litter. I spent most of the night trying to find a 24 hour no kill shelter but I wasnt successful as I had hope. In the end that morning we called Animal Care and Control who would send someone out to pick up the cat. I figured it was the best course of action because I didnt have the resources to handle the cat by myself (mainly money). From 830-430 I waited for them to come and finally I had to bid Oliver (which I named the cat after Oliver Twist) goodbye and hope the system would prevail. Jack informed me when they came they explained they would hold Oliver for 3 days to see if anyone claimed him and then if no one did, he would be put up for adoption. I made it clear I wanted to adopt this cat. We had bonded over the night and that poor cat was getting weaker and weaker each hour that passed. 

Yesterday I had planned to see the cat but between the errands and the hard rain, I decided to wait till today to visit Oliver. Jack and I went to 326 east 110th st to get an update on the cat. They (2 very unpleasant woman in the front who made me fear that all the workers there share that attitude) told us the cat was severley dehydrated and had one of the worse case of fleas they had ever seen. I explained I was interested in adopting Oliver but because I would be out of town 1/2 of August I couldnt adopt him till early Sept. Thats when they dropped the bomb on me, Oliver has a mass around his kidneys and they will not do anything about it. Either someone adopts Oliver and gets him to the vet for treatment or they will put Oliver down. Oh my god, my heart was shattered into tiny pieces and I have been crying on and off all day because if I could find the $$$ I would take him to the vet and get him taken care of. I am besides myself with the fact that Oliver must feel as if I had abandon him and I never wanted him to think that I had. I wanted to keep my promises that I had told him gently all that night about what a sweet boy he was and how I wanted to keep him and make him a part of our family. Jack has taken such pity on me and he knows I am feeling so distressed by all of this. I couldnt even call Baba to tell her because I knew I would be crying too hard to be able to talk that I asked Jack to let her know and he did. After we left the shelter I buried my head into Jack's shoulder and just cried and have been doing so on and off since.

Right now I want to go back to the shelter and demand they fix him and I want the money to magically appear so I can have control again. Knowing Oliver is in there all by himself has me going a little nuts. I feel like had I done something sooner like 2 weeks ago or 2 months ago I couldve saved him. Now I feel I have betrayed him. Sure people tell me, you did the right thing because he would've suffered a long painful death. He might've been hurt by someone who was a psychopath. But what I want to know is WHO abandon Oliver? Who could let such a sweet kitten be all alone all this time and not do a damn thing? And I am angry at myself for not doing something sooner.

Oliver I know I can't save you but believe me I would if I could. I am sorry for letting you down. I am sorry I didn't do something sooner and I am sorry I don't have the funds to fix you and take you home. Oliver I am sorry and you are in my heart and soul just like all the cats I have loved before you. And even though we only spent a day's worth of time together I know had the circumstances been different we wouldve been great pals. If anyone out there knows anything about cats having a mass around their kidneys and what the odds of survival are, pls leave me a note in the comment section. I do not want to give up yet. And I am hoping those of you who read this that there might be someone out there be willing to adopt Oliver and give him the care and attention he deserves, just leave me a comment and I will give you the needed info to do so. You will have my everlasting gratitude and Oliver's too.