My publisher agent is COOL!

I love her, she and I had lunch today so I could share my vision of my book and the fact I added my friend King to the mix of me and Ronnie. The ASL college curriculum is going to rock. I can't hardly wait to tell Ronnie and King face to face hopefully this weekend

House of cards

Getting back to my life as I should. Closing the door on an old crutch no matter how many times he tries to keep it open its going to stay closed. I have to go back to compartmentalizing my concerns and fears. I really made strides in the past 2 years so to have that recent setback a few weeks ago was a real blow to my center.

Meanwhile the one guy who seems promising but I suspect may not be entirely honest with me sent me a cute I LIKE YOU using ASL manual alphabet today via email. But my trust in men is nada these days. They all seem like cheaters.

Last night I watched a really good TEDTalks with Amy Webb who wrote a book about cracking the online dating code. Very informative. I really like the TEDTalks series.

But hey it's Friday night. Shabbat Shalom! I'm riding the 4 train downtown to Union Square to watch the movie The Hunger Games: Catching Fire with my friend Lisa Simpson! :-)

Here I go again on my own....

*hums 1987 White Snakes song* ...wow I just looked up the lyrics. LAME! It sounded cool when I would watch the video play on Mtv after school as a teenie booper/teenager. Before I ever really entered the Deaf world and have a chance to see closed captioned tv. Hard to believe I have spent more time in the Deaf world (within the hearing world) now than I have in the hearing world alone. I have always been way happier since.

Anyways this post is about online dating, which has been interesting so far

-met one guy via online who was a royal jerk ugh. Lesson learn do not share text number. You might just get some pervy 'accidental' photos. Just a real pig!

-another guy has been nice but I don't think he's being honest so probably going to shut that down too

-a lot of guys contact me just to tell me how pretty they think I am.

-Some will write me lame stuff like 'hi, how's your week so far?' really? That's your opening line?
Being the nice person I tend to reply but today I realize I must stop replying to most of the messages. This is a good exercise because I am basically honing my filtering skills on what I am looking for in a man.

Then in real life I also have a few guys who I have met in person and thought was cute who still  text me occasional 'Hey....' texts which I find weird along with 'babe, hun, dear...' they don't know me that well. Why would they even address me that way?

I have been trying to stay away from artists, musicians, or anyone in the entertainment industry. I am the artistic one, the guy's gotta have his own thing and I work for a living and do my art when I can. I don't want to be supporting any man in the near future who also happens to be an artist.  No thank you. I also don't want any 'entrepreneurs' or CEOs of their own companies.  I want a man who goes to work and wants to enjoy his time off with me and some mutual activities we both enjoy. I want to be able to share the cost of living, not worry so much about money and travel a little. I just can't be with someone who is not self sustaining or employed steadily and reasonably compensated for their employment choice.

One thing about online dating is I also am leery of wasting time with guys who seek an online illusion for their ego fulfillment. No thank you, I have enough people in my life who want my attention. I don't need to waste it on someone who lives nearby but too chicken shit to meet up with me in real life or isn't really being honest with me. I just can't stand dishonesty these days!

So we will see how things go over the next few weeks. I am ready to get out there and DATE. And lucky for me I actually kind of have the schedule that will allow me to do so :]

This for a certain Jackass I know

Comic-Con 2013 Ultra CHAMP!

Yesterday me and Mama Racoon attended the NY Comic Con for our first time. She went as a zombie and I as "Deaf Lightning." We had a ball, I think my favorite part of the whole experience was seeing cosplayers in various costumes. It took us 3 hours to get ready and we weren't nearly as made up as many of the others. Just goes to show how hardcore cosplayers are :-) Love it!

 

 

It was at the Javits Center which is eneromous and very pretty too, the building is encased in glass and really lets in the sun.

As soon as we exited the A train at Penn Station we immediately spotted others in cosplay mode. It was fun to see the regular civilians, mere mortals reactions to us vying through the crowd to grab a quick lunch and the magic money machine as Baba likes to call the ATM. Some people smiled, others looked bewildered, and even a few annoyed like 'how dare you have a good time or be silly!' I think they were deep down inside jealous ;-)

Then we walked 4 aves over to the Javits Center and boy oh boy the crowd, all kinds of superhereos, villians, Animie fans and so on. We walked in and immediately began snapping photos. Of course I have the Kodak gene, anyone who looks at my FB page can tell you I am deliriously happy behind a camera lens, be it a regular camera or video I love to capture things, images, moods. I guess you could say in a sense I am a part time documentarist? (is that even a word, a person who visually documents things?)

We both brought a few comics/books and I brought a cool 'The Big Lebrowski Kit' for 50% off, so instead of it being $20, I got it for $10.

FYI for others interested in attending future Comic Cons, a lot of books, memoriabillas like the kit I got and some comics were on sale anywhere from 20-50% off but clothing and costume related items usually were regular priced or overpriced.

I also brought a new comic called Afroella, the very first issue and both the authors signed it and took a photo with me which I really enjoyed.



Same goes for Mama Raccoon, she too got autographed books and comics and both of us didn't have to spend a lot to get a lot which we were glad for. As Clinton said 'its the economy, stupid!'

Another thing to keep in mind when attending is, wear sneakers, you will be walking a LOT. Bring a backpack, after a few books it can get kind of heavy to carry. Bring $$$, they sell food there and have various vendors or you can bring your own snacks, drinks. And after talking with a different fan who has been attending 4 years now, she recommended we  go on Fridays (which we did this year) because Saturdays are so packed and jammed you can barely move. As we experience yesterday, the authors, illustrators etc were able to have real personal experiences with us and that really what the event is all about. The fans like us. And the most important tip of all, when attending on the first day (if you buy a 4 day pass) or your first time whatever, make sure you go to the main entrance. We did not and didn't know it at the time and not till we were almost ready to leave did we see the main entrance where lo-behold the free program booklet with all of the Comic con info is and would've been very helpful when we first arrived so next year we will be sure to do that.

Overall would I go again, you betcha! And after posting photos on FB yesterday we may have found two other Deaf women interested in attending with us next year. Would love to see the group grow into a yearly event as my friend Superman Steve does on Saturdays for Comic Con, but we will do ours for Fridays.

Out of Towners

You can always tell who is an out of towner.
They're White. Unless abundantly clear like Japanese tourists or Hasidic Jews, they're usually Caucasian. And at most from outside the city likeYonkers or more upstate. But for those of you living in Westchester county, please don't delude yourself and call yourself a NYer in the sense of the word this you're from the city. You and I both know you're not.
Second out of towners, they're always smiling, having lively conversations. Real NYers when conversing on the train it is for a purpose, like which stop to get off of next? Real NYers riding the train (mind you which is the subways) either look very tired, bored or miserable. The the rest hide in their phones, newspapers or books.
Third the way out of towners dress too mainstream. They wear something out of American Apparel or the Gap too clean, too new. The rest of us usually look fashionable but urban.
And then there's me, as of late most folks I meet now have started to ask me which borough I'm from? Which pleases me immensely. Hard to know what people think of me when I'm riding the train.
Some say NYers aren't friendly, but I bet 9 out of 10xs they're racists. And NYers can sniff out bullshit in a heartbeat. It's the truth, NYC is awesome but it's takes a long time to really know her like I do :-)

My HS reunion was a BIG success!

Just got home from DC where I recently spent the weekend to celebrate my 20 year HS reunion. It was wonderful. We were able to see our old school and the tour was led by one of our classmates who did a fantastic job with the tour.

The reunion after 13 months of planning finally happened and I could not have asked for a better one. It was totally worth the effort and seeing my old friends like John Y and Arly along with Mama Zee and Icelandic Queen just made it even better. Knob and Dr. Westbury made an appearance too. I feel very loved and missed in some ways.

Now that I am back home I feel a little homesick for Maryland which is so unlike me! I love NYC but I guess I miss my old friends too more than I realize. Having gone to DC twice this year already I can see myself making regular yearly visits there. So many friends have relocated there as well so I have plenty of couches to surf.

But upon my return I once more face some apartment drama that I so really don't want to deal with. But I must and I will.

I can't wait to see what my 25th year reunion will bring????

Bipolar nightmare

I recently was subjected to an extreme form of anger/hostility during a current manic episode(s) by a close friend who's bipolar and the experience had left me shell shocked to say in the least. I'm extremely depressed by the depth of hate spewed/written to me. It is an awful event to bear and I'm just too PTSD I think from years of DV with my ex to bounce back quickly like I should.

I'm the type to lay low when injured and tend to my wounds. I just have zero energy to go out and socialize. I just want to be left alone and not have to explain why I look and feel crummy.

Tomorrow night I will head back to PA to grab more time with my family and to regroup myself a bit too. I just hate when my generosity is abused and I know bipolar is a disease. But as a sensitive soul such as I, its hard not to feel hurt by a friend I've known almost 7 years :/

The only goods that came from my short time back was the two day technology workshop I took at my job this week. It was great. I gained three important benefits from the workshop
I now know what current software is available for our instructors
Where to go for resources in pedagogy, tech support etc etc.. with my new job I want to be independent employee that goes above and beyond. I'm interested in technology and curriculum design. I'm excited by what knowledge I gained during the two day workshop. It makes me feel prepared to start the fall semester right!

And the guy who coordinated the event seems like a stand up guy and I feel I could possibly develop a good rapport with him. I've also toyed with the idea of asking him to be my mentor for professional development later this fall. But first I want to start the new semester and get used to having my own office, whee, I am super jazzed by that! Very cool!

So even though my spirits lie low at current press time, I'm still grateful for all of my good fortunes.

Being misunderstood....

In the past year or so I have had the irony on more than one occasion to basically be told whatever achievement/progress/improvements I've made are the result of
-being at the right place at the right time in other words lucky
-being too aggressive
-being an ass kisser
in other words it wasn't the time or energy or the active effort to make the needed changes in my life that contributed to my success it was any of the above.
-or this one I just love, is a result of them being in my life. Granted having them in my life always enhances it but please do not delude yourself into thinking you are why my life has gotten better. My life got better because I was in a miserable wretched relationship for 5 plus years and being free of that and having the will to change is what brought about changes.
Let me be clear, yes I had help along the way but that is because I asked for help and reciprocated to the best of my abilities or above and beyond. I don't claim to be perfect or without flaws, weaknesses but I don't need to tout all that I do in order to make little and big victories.
I sometimes think even though I am a talker, I like to be quiet and listen/see what the other is saying? I think people sometimes mistaken me being receptive to me being I suppose uninformed so when I do ask a question they can be condescending at times. Ugh, I have a lot of patience but even I run out of nice-nice mojo. Plus I don't like one sided conversations where the person just drones on and on to build up their ego rather than to connect.
I am ready for my trip out of town to see the family. A break from a certain someone is long overdue

Malaise abound

I haven't been writing much these days, been too worn down to try. Working pretty much nonstop without so much as a few days off since last January has been most difficult. Yesterday was the last day of summer class and marked the end of the 3rd summer class that I taught this year. I worked on grades yesterday and corrected exams today. Tomorrow I will do the course grades and submit them on Sunday night as a final grade. Come Monday in 3 days my summer vacation finally begins! I will have just 3 weeks off but I am looking forward to not having to worry about lesson plans and I am sick to death of grading exams. Been grading exams every two weeks nonstop since last May! ugh!

So the term Malaise feels right, been feeling kind of down and plain old exhausted. Hardly any energy to do anything than the things that need to be done such as work, laundry, etc etc.. I haven't been going out much either mostly because I am just so tired! However I am happy to say I have had many visitors over the summer and I enjoyed that tremendously!

I enjoyed having Carrie Berry visit me for a week and it was awesome to see her again after 7 years as she resides in California. I am hoping she may consider moving east because I worry she is too isolated out west and she is like family to me, I care! It was hard to see her go! We both teared up at the end, who knew this annoying bubbly girl I met over 15 years ago would be such a good friend to me today? I am sooo lucky to have so many wonderful, caring friends in my life. I guess its the universe's way of making up for the years I grew up without hardly any friends at all? I dunno but either way I appreciate all that they do for me.

As a matter of fact all one has to do is take a look around my apartment. It was Blondie who came by a year and a half ago and violently shoved my exes' things in garbage bags and crammed it all into a closet. It was Mama Duck who always told me what a good job I was doing whenever I made any progress with clutter and downsizing. It was Teddy who helped me to tidy up daily and do small acts like taking out the garbage regularly. And it was Patty O and Car Man's Man who redesigned my living room and I have been able to maintain it since. And recently Carrie Berry worked on my bedroom with the clothes putting them away neatly, making more space and each time a friend helps me get one step closer to a stress free home I am so happy because they care enough about me to want to see me succeed! Small acts lead to big changes! I am happier all around with my home life these days. Things are placed back where they belong, I try to do the dishes daily, I throw things out all the time and I really make an effort not to buy things I don't need!

Tomorrow is my birthday and I am looking forward to getting a pedicure with my friend Lisa Simpson and then we will go out to eat dinner. A few hrs later I will pick up Mama Raccoon and her brood from the airport and spend some time with them as well. It will be a low key birthday this year which fits the mood just fine!

Cannot wait to see the family next week!

My plants are thriving!

Pah, with the weather lately being so bipolar its nice the warm weather is sticking around. My guys are loving it!

Phase I of repotting

Did the tomato plants & onion (not pictured). Left to do the jalapenos :]
I wonder how long after pollinating the cherry tomato plants before I grow some fruits? *mouth waters* I love the way they smell too! Takes me back to my childhood and spending time with Papa helping him garden <3!

My new little garden

So once again I will attempt to 'grow a green' thumb and actually am focusing on these plants below I brought the other week (except the onion was a little while ago)
3 cherry tomato plants
1 green onion plant
4 jalapeno plants
My one friend Miers gave me lots of useful advice. Even my 1st Ex chimed in today which was a nice surprise. Perhaps it is possible to be friends? Who knows?
So I was urged to repot them asap.