A case of the NASTIES!

Hmph! This morning on my way to
Penn Station from my apt, I boarded
the 1 train which was packed like sardines
in a tin can. Then at 96th st, I got off to
switch to the 2/3 train (express) and ofc
it was just as packed but I saw an opening
in one of the cars and boarded. Meanwhile
a dipshit guy was standing by the entrance
of the train and was standing in a way
that blocked me unnecessarily, sorta puffed himself up. I moved in
anyways because
people have to make room for other people.
He had the nerve, the nerve! To elbow me
into my chest directly! Ooooh no he didn't!
But he did. And I told him quite loudly
don't you EVER elbow me in the chest
again. Then he tried to play the "angry
black man" muttering, saying nasty things
to me while reading his newspaper (which
was actually in this other ladys face
because there's NO ROOM 2 spread ur
arms out to read!- that's just selfish!).
Then I let him have it, told him if he
elbowed me again, I was gonna make sure
I elbowed his FACE! Then I added that if
you want SPACE to read ur newspaper
you take a cab but otherwise SHUT UP!
Funny thing was I didn't even have my
hearing aid on so I never knew what he
said but I knew what he was aiming to
say. Other men on the train started to
intervene and I was able to move away
from him. But I wasn't gonna let him bully
me. I don't care what color you are, you
DON'T elbow a woman in the chest,
period! He's lucky Jack wasn't there or he
wouldve knocked this guy into next week.
Well this week has been going pretty
good. Went back to student teaching and
now I'm headed to NJ for my students
some of them didn't finish their final
exam videos so I'm meeting w/2 of them
today.
My sleeping habits was thrown off
schedule during the break so I'm having
a hard time getting back to my
"working" sleeping schedule. Next week
all of my jobs start back up.
Over the break I realized I've gotten
a major case of the blues. One thing I
hate about depression is, sometimes it
can sneak up on you and you don't even
realize it. I think I mistakened my
depression as just being tired and
overworked. And in some ways that's
true but in other ways I was also
feeling more sensitive than usual. The
past few days I've been feeling more
even, less moody. Its still there but not
as intense.
Also finding out about my friends mother
who passed away only compounded my
depression. Plus I'm currently re-defining
two relationships I have with two
different people. To make it more healthy
all around. I have a bad habit of trying to
please everyone else instead of myself.
Now I'm trying to strike a balance that
works for me and my relationships. I think sometimes I forget
relationships like
everything else in life its not static
but rather fluid, evolving, changing. Its
just hard for me to figure out how to go
about re-defining these 2 important
relationships by doing so in a fashion
that works for me instead of against me.