1 mundane choice

Can wreck havoc on one's life...
Argh I made a bad mistake yesterday
morning and no matter how bad I feel
I cannot go back into time and make it
right again.

On my way to teach class yesterday
morning it was raining very hard. So
I decided to put my hearing aid away
in my purse to keep it dry from the rain.
A little later I went to put it on and it was
GONE.
A $2000 hearing aid GONE. I am devasted.
I panicked and it happened right at the
beginning of class too. My students were
so sweet and even called a few places I
had stopped by to check and see if anyone
turned it in? Nada. I went back to the 1
place I had breakfast and pawed through
the garbage bins, nothing! I retraced my
steps all the way past Macys to Penn
Station, no hearing aid. I went into 20
stores asking the managers if anyone turned
it in, nothing. I am beside myself with my
own inability to take care of such an
expensive item.

Sure these things happen but they happen
to me yearly it seems and I am tired of
being a money pit! All my life I lost
keys, dental retainers, drivers license,
sidekicks, scarves, sunglasses, umbrellas,
gloves, and hats.

I spent the whole day replaying yesterday
morning events trying to figure out how it
happened? How could it be GONE?

And talk about shitty timing, I am leaving
for PA tonight for a nice long weekend of
what should've been easy communication
with my family will now be a lipreading
marathon with the exception of Baba's
signing, Mom's fingerspelling and Nancy's
few signs I am SOL. And its embarrassing
to come off as such a f*ckup to everyone.

Jack's new mantra is hearing aid Insurance!
Do that and we'll be ok. But I don't feel ok,
And I probably will leave the new future
hearing aid in PA with Baba so I use it when
I see them. Jack doesn't like it but right now
I am tired of 1 sided communication where
I do all the listening and talking. Where is
my 1/2 being met? My ASL? My ASL isn't
less than English. I love Jack but I am DEAF
and perhaps its better to be a Deaf militant
at home (I won't go that far...) but how else
can I get him to understand I am DEAF?

So I am feeling pretty low for the past 24
hours. Both Mom & Baba wrote and told
me not to be so hard on myself but I am.
I hate this part of myself and yeah having
ADD makes things harder but its not an
excuse and I won't use it as one.

Some spare change

Well I've reached a place where I now actually
have $$$. Not a lot granted but some spare
change here and there. It feels good to finally
earn a decent living!

As for my recent posting I did what I said and
stood my ground in an issue that was several
years old. I think I got it resolved to my
satisfaction level, only time will tell. The
only hint I will give is this; ASL.... and er
*coughs coughs, Jack, coughs*...if you
know me than you'll be able to figure it
out. If you don't, tough noggins! As kids
like to say, "mind your own beeswax!"

I am still on my diet but not doing as good
as before. Last weekend I sort of let go but
in my defense aunt flo is coming and that
always amps my appetite. But yes I can
now pretty much fit into my size 8s! Whee!
It took I guess 6-7 weeks or so. Now I
hafta maintain which is gonna be hard to
do this weekend when I am in MD for
Karen's wedding! The bachelorette party
will have pizza and then of course the next
day will be the wedding and the reception
as well as a cookout that night *mouth
waters*...I LOVE cookouts, baked beans,
grilled meats, potato salads, pickles,
corn on the cobs...yum but damn too!
Why oh why does food taste so good?!

Baba was such a sweetheart recently
and had my grad school diploma framed.
It sure looks spifty. On top of that, she sent
back the acer laptop with Jack for me to use
for lesson plans and believe me I will!
Baba is too good to me, my life would
be terribly empty without her in it. Not
because of the things she buys (and
spoils me with) but because she
along with Mom are always by my side,
even from afar. I emailed Baba the other
day and wrote, "no matter how old I get,
I will never be old enough to not have
you in my life! So stick around, will ya!"
She wrote back and assured me her
health is great and she even has some
of her energy back. Partly because she
is setting aside a few days a week where
she doesn't make ANY plans, those days
are for her ONLY. To rest and do what
SHE WANTS and she should!

My classes this week went by so quickly
and here I am getting ready to teach 1
more time tonight. This morning it was
awesome seeing my ASL level 1 students
having conversations! I mean at the beginning
of Sept they couldn't even fingerspell! Now
they talk about what they like to eat, where
to eat, about school and hobbies too! Fun
and extremely rewarding!

Lastly hip hip hooray for the government
finally is easing up on the marijuana
medical laws. As NY congressman
Hinchey said "Common sense won over
ideological stubbornness as our
nation's law enforcement agency
formally adopted a new and well-
balanced policy on medical marijuana
use." Amen! As someone who is
allergic to pain meds such as the
coveted codeine and vicodin this
is good news! I have always wondered
what I do when I am older and have
certain aches or conditions what my
options will be? Now I know my future
holds more choices that reflect
modern age, not the medieval times
where the "Devil made me do it!"

Standing my ground

Sometimes life forces you to make choices
that are not always popular but the right
one for YOU.

So in the spirit of Tom Petty & the Heartbreaker's song "I won't back
down"

Well I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down

No ill stand my ground, won't be turned around
And ill keep this world from dragging me down
Gonna stand my ground
...and I won't back down

Chorus:
(I won't back down)
Hey baby, there aint no easy way out
(And I won't back down)
Hey I will stand my ground
And I won't back down

Well I know what's right, I got just 1 life
In a world that keeps on pushing me down
But ill stand my ground
...and I won't back down

Chorus 2xs

End of song

Honestly the line "well I know what's right. I got just 1 life" sums up
things perfectly!

Rain rain

Go away!
Come again another day...

Yikes, swine flu...

Well it seems plausible I had the swine flu
all last week. It started on a Monday, I had
nausea for a week straight and diarrhea on
and off along with aches and being tired. I
just thought it was from something I ate. And
I was also surprised too because I never get
nausea or diarrhea ever!

It seems that it is Jack's turn because near
the end of last week he started to
experience nausea too and this week has a
dry cough and achy, tired. Lucky for him I
don't think he had the diarrhea like I did!

Oh well, that's swine flu for you!

Mayoral debate

Last night, much to my disappointment
NY1 did NOT closed caption the live
Mayoral debate between Bloomberg and
Thompson :(

I spent 1 hour "watching" it with Jack and
having him summarize what they said every
few minutes. NOT fun! I even got dizzy
from trying. What little I did gather from the
debate is us NYers are caught between a
rock and a hard place. And I blame Bloomberg
because he has left us with the choice.
To violate the term limits that he feels he
doesn't need to follow like the rest of us
or get stuck with Thompson who comes
across as wishy washy and unprofessional.
Even his "political" gestures were forced
and unnatural. And the water rates?! Hello
us NYers are RENTERS and do not pay for
water. What the heck was Thompson thinking?
Bloomberg played it so cool as if Thompson
was just an annoying fly whizzing around
Bloomberg harmlessly. Thompson came
across more like an awkward teenager who
was speaking in the public for the 1st time
than a hardcore debater.

So after last's nights debate who would get
my vote? Well it would have to be Bloomberg
for several reasons. Thompson wants to fire
all the commissioners! Bloomberg pointed
out that they are doing a phenomenal job,
why mess with something that isn't broken?
Thompson wants to expand the projects and
section 8. Bloomberg opposes and advocates
the "work advantage" program that helps
people when they help themselves (ie finding
work before receiving handouts). There was
also the fact that Bloomberg changed how
the police dept is run. Instead of having an
equal number of police officers in every
neighborhood, he goes by what
neighborhoods have the highest crime
rates and commits higher concentration
of police officers in those areas
compared to other. Thompson seems
to want to go back to the 90s which
didn't work! Bloomberg also mentioned his
police force consists largely on minorities
from various neighborhoods because who
better to patrol them, than their own
residents? Another thing I really liked
about Bloomberg was no matter what
was said, his answers always reverted
back to "I will do whatever it takes to
make NYC a better city, be it switching
political parties etc., etc.." Basically his
answers reflected his love and dedication to
this city. Bloomberg also said "we survived
9/11 and came back stronger. We will
survive this [economy] and come back
stronger and better than ever. That our
city will bounce (economically) back
quicker than any other city in the U.S..

Having said all this what I don't like
about Bloomberg is the whole I don't have to
play by the same rules as everyone else and
respect the term limits. I have unlimited funds
to destroy my opponents reputation. And the
crazy talk a few months ago that Bloomberg
proposed that cross-city buses be free! Come
on, you've got to be kidding me. The MTA
while at times has let us all down here and
there, they need every penny they can get.
Besides free cross town buses would only
create more problems that contribute to any-
thing. More homeless people would ride it,
and don't get me started on the confusions
the tourist would have grasping the already
"complex" NYC public transportation system.

There will be a 2nd mayoral debate in 2 weeks
on the 27th. I will be contacting NY1 to request
they not leave out their Deaf NYers and to
PLEASE provide CC! If they want Deaf people
to vote, they can't leave us out.

3rd time a charm?

Well we didnt get the place on the east side, my income level didn't qualify
:( Both Jack and I are dissapointed but in some ways relieved because while the location was GREAT. The apt was tiny! I had some concerns my queen size bed wouldn't fit the bedroom. Lesson learn, do not apply for an apt when you're not 100% sure and totally in love with it. We've now wasted almost $200 in application fees *grr* today Jack stumbled on an ad for Williamsburg in Brooklyn, a 2 bedroom that from the photo looks great. He will call and make an appt for this Saturday evening and we will go and look at the apt. This time we will take the application with us and decide on Sunday whether we want to apply or not. Its very close to Manhattan and near the L train which would be great for me. If we decide not to pursue this apt, we will wait till Jan/Feb to start looking again. We can't afford to keep applying and wasting $$. No sireee.

This week has been pretty good, one thing tho Ive noticed is everyone seems TIRED. The bad economy is taking a toll on everyone. There is more hostility in the air and sense of hopelessness that I've only experience as a child during the Reagan years and the recession and even then it wasn't as visible. I know the whole country is suffering but its not visible or as apparent as it is in the bigger cities. Each day I walk out my door to see beggars and crazies talking to themselves and stores closing all over the place. I see it in people's eyes both despair and apathy, a real shame in my opinion. And I feel it when I am teaching too. The other night I told Jack is it me this year not being a good teacher or what? And he simply replied, its the economy, not YOU! Even my happy-go lucky co-worker Will is blah. The past 2 weeks when I ask him how he's doing he says I'm hanging in there, working and doing what I gotta do to live...wow from Will thats unusual.

This weekend I am terping for my friend Martin part of the Sukkot services. I enjoy this very much because no where else do I get to enjoy my Jewish identity with deafies like I do here. Don't get me wrong my Uncle David's and Baba's temple is wonderful and I enjoy spending Passover there (I will not be missing this year, I missed last year and really regretted it).

Next weekend I will be in PA, Pah! I miss my family a lot, and thank my lucky stars they are mine. I plan to take Mom to Red Lobster for lunch as a belated bday present. I must also txt msg Paula to let her know I will be in town too, perhaps we can go out and play some pool? see see? I plan to go back again the 1st weekend of Nov for the Greek Bazar. Mom says she may go too and I am a little worried because its VERY crowded there but if we all go early enough we should be ok? I will see if Nancy with David and Bobby are going again this year and coordinate our attendance together. And when I go, I am NOT counting points on the day of the Greek Bazar, its been 5 weeks on the WW diet and I can almost fit back into my size 8! Me is the Happy!

Keeping my fingers crossed...

Tmw night, Jack and I have an appt to look at an apt on the east side. He went to see it last night and loves it! Reason why is the layout is an actual apt layout meaning the rooms are separated into their own components rather than just 2 rooms with the living room being the kitchen, dinning and living area along with a bedroom. Rather this apt actually separates the kitchen from the living room and all of the rooms are BIG! The only drawback is NO dishwasher but you know what, we've decided we will just buy one when money permits later this winter if we get the apt?

What's even better is the fact it is only $70 a month more than what we pay now but the neighborhood is a MILLION times better than where are are currently. A ton of restaurants and shops nearby. We drove around last night to scope out the neighborhood and we both are in LOVE! Tmw night we will turn in the application along with the application fee and a deposit to hold the apt, yay! I feel very confident we will be approved but I don't want to get too ahead of myself and will not be able to relax until I know for SURE its ours?!

In other news, I finally signed up for basic health insurance at my new teaching job. It will be approximately $132 a month which is quite reasonable and now when I get sick I don't have to run home to PA anymore but I just might anyways because Mom and Baba always take such good care of me. I'd have to find out if the doctor back in my hometown take my insurance or not? The insurance will become effective by Oct 15th!

A lot of new and exciting things are coming my way, it sure makes up for the hard summer when I was struggling so much financially. I am also staying true to my diet and this Saturday will mark 4 weeks since Ive started.

On Saturday evening I will get to see Joe Joy! I havent seen him in forever! We will have dinner and then attend NYC DPHH. Life is good.