Argh I made a bad mistake yesterday
morning and no matter how bad I feel
I cannot go back into time and make it
right again.
On my way to teach class yesterday
morning it was raining very hard. So
I decided to put my hearing aid away
in my purse to keep it dry from the rain.
A little later I went to put it on and it was
GONE.
A $2000 hearing aid GONE. I am devasted.
I panicked and it happened right at the
beginning of class too. My students were
so sweet and even called a few places I
had stopped by to check and see if anyone
turned it in? Nada. I went back to the 1
place I had breakfast and pawed through
the garbage bins, nothing! I retraced my
steps all the way past Macys to Penn
Station, no hearing aid. I went into 20
stores asking the managers if anyone turned
it in, nothing. I am beside myself with my
own inability to take care of such an
expensive item.
Sure these things happen but they happen
to me yearly it seems and I am tired of
being a money pit! All my life I lost
keys, dental retainers, drivers license,
sidekicks, scarves, sunglasses, umbrellas,
gloves, and hats.
I spent the whole day replaying yesterday
morning events trying to figure out how it
happened? How could it be GONE?
And talk about shitty timing, I am leaving
for PA tonight for a nice long weekend of
what should've been easy communication
with my family will now be a lipreading
marathon with the exception of Baba's
signing, Mom's fingerspelling and Nancy's
few signs I am SOL. And its embarrassing
to come off as such a f*ckup to everyone.
Jack's new mantra is hearing aid Insurance!
Do that and we'll be ok. But I don't feel ok,
And I probably will leave the new future
hearing aid in PA with Baba so I use it when
I see them. Jack doesn't like it but right now
I am tired of 1 sided communication where
I do all the listening and talking. Where is
my 1/2 being met? My ASL? My ASL isn't
less than English. I love Jack but I am DEAF
and perhaps its better to be a Deaf militant
at home (I won't go that far...) but how else
can I get him to understand I am DEAF?
So I am feeling pretty low for the past 24
hours. Both Mom & Baba wrote and told
me not to be so hard on myself but I am.
I hate this part of myself and yeah having
ADD makes things harder but its not an
excuse and I won't use it as one.
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