" Slow and steady wins the race"

~ Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC)
The Hare and the Tortoise










Remmy Cecil the Turtle from Bugs Bunny? Well guess who now possesses 2 baby red eared slider turtles? Yep, me. I don't know what possessed me but on a whim I brought them last Friday afternoon. I was at the bus stop on 125th and Lennox Ave waiting for a bus going west when I saw this older Asian women pulling out small little cages with 2 turtles in each cage. I was suppose to go to an appt but I felt crappy that day and asked the lady how much? She indicates to me $10 with both hands representing $5 each, because I couldn't understand her accent and pointed to my ears that I am deaf. I nodded I understood the price but walked back to the bus waiting section of the bus stand. She was set up behind the bus stand. The bus arrived and I found myself walking back behind to where she was and handed her a tenner. Next she sells me $2 pellets (turtle food). I scrape enough quarters and do that. I immediately turn around and walk home. I went to the bedroom and took one out at a time and let them walk on my hands while immediately using google to find out what did I get myself into?

I immediately realized that the old standing myth that turtles or reptiles/amphibians are NOT cold blooded creatures. That they actually require several things such as a water heater, heating lamp and rock for them to bask on and an UV lamp plus a water filter, ay yi yi. So Saturday even tho it was a miserable day and that was the same day that things blew up between Szymanski and I for good, we visited Eddie to get a new lock that he had on hand as a spare. Since the robbery we figured best to replace the front door lock. Lucky for me Virgie was there and she happened to grow up with turtles. She gave me a LOT of valuable advice on what to do and what to buy. It was great, what are the odds I would run into someone the very next day who used to own turtles??? Anyhoo after we finished our visit, we went to the pet store where a Kevin Smith look-a-like whizzed around the store gathering up the necessary but minimal supplies that I needed to get my turtles in a rocking space. I still have left to buy a water heater and the UV lamp. I am using a heating pad with a towel as a buffer between the tank and the pad itself and so far it has kept the water at room temperature. The turtles LOVED the heating lamp. The reason why they are called "sliders" are because whenever they see you, they immediately slide off the basking rock into the water. They are both currently in love with the water filter. Often I find one or both squeezed in between the filter and the tank wall. Maybe the humming it produces or the fact that it is warm has made it quite attractive to them both. Also the basking rock I brought has room for them to crawl under to "hide" as well.

I read that the baby turtles should NOT be handled a lot during the first several weeks because it causes them stress. So since I brought the tank on Saturday, they have been hands free. Funny when we first set up the tank, Jack and I made sure the water level wasn't too high in case they had never swam before. And it looked like they hadn't because they fluttered the first few times. We would "help" them and put them on the heated rock but they replied no thanks, we wanna SWIM! And immediately slid right back into the water. It was cute to see them standing on their tippy toes. Head just above water.

The major issue I have had so far is what exactly to feed them, how much to feed them and are they feeling ok? Sometimes I will perch myself quietly next to their tank, not moving so they will relax and swim around. I find myself "peeking" at them when I am in the kitchen which is adjacent to the living room but has a small wall to separate and I spy whenever I can.

I can tell the difference between the 2 turtles but the sex of the turtle I am still not sure of. I believe I have a set of each gender. What I didn't know was when they are fully grown, they can grow to be about 10 inches wide! Especially the females which are usually bigger than the males. Imagine dinner plate size turtles in a few years?! Plus I read they are very aggressive and if I find them nipping at the heel of another, I will have to separate them. I also don't want them to breed. I am hoping when the time comes to separate them that I can convince my nephew Bobby who's crazy about animals and biology to adopt one of my turtles down the road. Hint hint Nancy & David. I would of course supply the needed equipment for Bobby to take care of the turtle and he would only have to worry about food (which luckily isn't that expensive) and as they age they go from being carnivorous to herbivorous. Which means that 75% of their meals should be leafy veggies. Right now I am feeding them dried krills, shrimps and turtle pellets.

I admit I am overwhelmed at the possibility of how big they will grow to be. I am afraid of turtles that big currently. I am hoping because I will get to see them grow and hopefully bond with Morticia and Gomez which I have currently named them until I know their sex for sure. This is also something that I want Jack and I do for Halloween one year. That the size won't scare me then? Also I will by the time they are fully grown need a LARGE tank. And I live in NYC, so unless I move to a bigger apt or find a way to arrange the furniture just right I might be in trouble. Another question I wondered about is, I am a cat lover and what if Jack and I get a cat. Can a cat and a turtle live together? Would a cat cause my turtle(s) undue stress? Its so weird because never in my entire life would I thought of being someone who has a turtle. I mean I have had all kinds of pets, cats, dogs, ferrets (which I didn't enjoy cuz they stink literally), rabbit (I also didn't enjoy, cuz they poop non-stop! and this particular rabbit was the same one my Mom used to stick under the covers in the mornings to wake me up and it would bite me, I hated that rabbit!). My former roommie had the gerbil/hamster which I enjoyed taking care of it until it died. I have never wanted a bird for a pet, boring if you ask me. My friend Mark Cole had an iguana (I wonder if he still does?) which was pretty cool. He built a kick-ass cage for it too. So here I am a proud new turtle(s) momma.

Apparently this guy is the Turtle Guru or marine life specialist so if you want to know more about them, click on and read.

Tonight after my 2nd job, Jack and I head to PA for the weekend. I absolutely cannot wait to see my family!

Tmw night we will go to Jason Woods for I think a haunted hayride unless the weather is bad such as rain but so far they are predicting clear skies, in the 40s. My biggest fear is I will pee my pants. I don't know why that is, when someone gets scared they wet their pants? Apparently it has to do with the "fight/flight" response and one of the symptoms is empty the bladder. I better buy some depends then ;) I already half joked and half seriously told Jack that I am bringing a extra pair of pants and undies tmw night. I was a bed-wetter till I was 12. It wasn't anything I had any control over. Growing up my Mom would have to wake me up several times a night to make sure I went to the bathroom and even then there was no guarantees. Thank god for plastic mattress covers. I am glad I outgrew it but I always remind people who know of a kid that wets their bed that I too had that problem and NO they are not doing it on purpose. No kid in their right mind would. Since then I have only peed my pants on a few occasions, usually its because I am laughing so hard for too long that its bye bye, pee away!

Once when I was like 15 or 16, I was in DC with a friend name Jamie Palmer and her boyfriend Ron and we were I think in the park where the capitol is. And I vaguely remember being hoisted onto his neck and being spun around, laughing so hard that I peed all over his shoulder! You bet he put me down right away and lucky for me he was a good sport about it but boy was I embarrassed. When we returned to MSSD dorm, I had borrowed his jacket and had it tied around my waist so no one would noticed. I guess Jamie never told anyone because I was never teased for it.

Then the other time I peed my pants was the last time I went to Jason Woods (video link) like 6 or 7 years ago with my friend Blondie, Zee and Hildur and maybe Knob too? Blondie and Hildur were not scared and seem unimpressed but Zee and I clung to each other for dear life and we BOTH wet ourselves more than once. So you might be wondering why the heck would I go back to Jason Woods? Well I want to show Jack one of the cooler things about Halloween in PA, Jason Woods has been in business for 23 years! And 2ndly, I KNOW I will be protected by him. He won't mind me clinging to him. My ex and I went to a "haunted house" at Gally once and he got annoyed with me everytime I grabbed a hold of him and buried my face into his back so he could lead me. At one point I got so scared that I fell backwards, knocking down the dividers of this haunted maze that was set up at the Ely Center. You should seen the look on the faces of the students running the haunted event, they were so surprised that I knocked down part of the maze. At the end we had to crawl through this tunnel and I almost couldn't do it, it took every bit of courage to just finish the damn thing. I am sure Knob remembers this :-)

I will be sure to snap some pictures while we're there at Jason Woods if its permitted and the Greek Bazaar too. And I hope to also take some videos of my turtles next week, after I've cleaned the tank so you can meet them too.

Its KAPUT!

Seems like Szymanski and I cannot put our differences aside and move forward. While it hurts me to see it end I am ready to let go of a damaging relationship. I cannot allow her to transfer her emotional upheaval and project it onto me as if it were my problem and not hers. She has serious issues with anyone who owns a pair of testicles and doesn't comply with her demands. Its getting tiresome. Her trying to play my "savior" from her own imaginary world where if Jack gives her a dirty look when she overstays her welcome equates abuse thereby doesn't mean I am being abuse or that dirty looks equal abuse.

I was contacted by a mutual friend of ours who asked me to let her know she needed to respect his wishes to be left alone. Which of course she would not do this. Instead she would harass him, hound him, and basically drive him to the point he blocked her from IMing him. But is this her fault? Oh no, of course it isn't, its 3 other males faults that have brainwashed this friend and "poisoned their relationship. She is NEVER at fault for any of these mishaps. Ty cut her out of his life and so did Joe Joy and a few others (all GUYS).

Jack what a sweetheart today when I laid down to nap after receiving a particularly hurtful but falsified filled email from her, Jack wrote to her basically stating he never hated her and only had problems with her overstepping her boundaries. This seems to be a running theme of hers, anyways he wrote this generous email on my behalf unknown to me asking her to stop obsessing on things that happened well over a year ago. Then she said she could see me on Sunday if I wanted to see her and I wrote

A lot of my desire to see you depends on your response to Jacks email which i thought was extremely gracious of him to write. He wrote it while I was sleeping because Ive been so upset with our fight all week. I had NOTHING to do with the email but he told me about it and showed me tonight. Wow, it made me love him even more. If you're set on continuing to make him out to be something he's not then no I don't want to see you because it only hurts me. If you're actually willing to let bygones be bygones that would be terrific. I don't think hes expecting a friendship from you but civility I think would be plenty on both ends

This was met with her replying she didn't want to be friends anymore and I recently wrote,

I agree. It doesn't seem like you're willing to move forward. And I cant stay in the past reliving it over and over again anymore. Good luck with your future.

Basically she's angry I won't agree to her views on MY relationship and therefore, I am to be eliminated. And that's that.

I have never met someone who spends so many hours relieving things that happened 1, 5, 10 or even 15 years ago. I have no idea what she gets out of it, other than playing a victim for every new friend she makes and maybe keeps for a few months before they too feel crowded by her and her unreasonable demands on how they interact with her. Then again when you don't work and have all the time in the world, you spend a lot of it thinking I suppose. Me on the other hand I do work and I find it to be therapeutic in helping me get past bad times just like this week going back to work, really helped me get over being robbed as well as Jack's emotional support last weekend.

I will accept part of the blame because I allowed her to think her behavior was acceptable even when I didn't think it was simply to keep the peace. But in the long run I only installed her belief that shes right and the world is wrong. God, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And I can't believe all of this transpired all because I was disappointed she wouldn't put aside her differences with Jack last weekend to be there for me after I was robbed. He was willing to do that for me, why couldn't she? Then instead it turned into this week long email tag of everything I've done wrong in the past 3 years since she moved here and never once did she say she did anything wrong or had anything to do with the friction between her and Jack. It was always Jack, Jack, Jack is the baddie. Part of the reason why Jack didn't jump head in first with the deaf world is because he was appalled by Szymanski's behavior and knew any deaf events he went to, she'd be there and he didn't want to deal with her outlandish behavior or emotional meltdowns which he found to be embarrassing, especially in public places.

I know that Mom, Baba and a few others who are reading this are thinking, Jesus its about time I got my head out of the clouds and learn to protect myself from someone who is emotionally draining and damaging at times. I really thought she would get better, I had hope others could see this wonderful person I saw and loved but instead they saw her clearly for what she is and I was the one who was blind by my own desire to be friends with someone I have known since she was 14 years old. Ive been told time and again, my heart is too big and I allow people who don't deserve my love/respect to have it freely. And it did seem for a while now, since last July we were doing fine, almost back to our old self until a week ago when I asked her to be there for me and then it all went down the drain so quickly. What really gets me is she keeps parroting back whatever her therapist says about me. And two thoughts go through my head. #1, the therapist only knows whatever Szymanski tells her and I know its not the whole truth but a twisted form of the truth. And 2ndly her therapist is leaving and well duh, wouldn't she agree with Szymanski anyways since she is leaving and will not have to pick up the pieces when shes gone? Of course she wont, she'll have relocated to another state and without payments being made (she is being paid after all) I truly wonder if her therapist will give Szymanski a 2nd thought once she's gone? Does Szymanski forget that being paid often makes people more agreeable to her, more friendly such as with the bartender she befriended at one point and then drove him away with a poem she wrote for him that mentioned his cock. Didn't she understand of course he was being nice to her, she was there almost everyday buying milkshakes and leaving tips. This didn't make him her friend, but someone who profited from a person with low-self-esteem.

But anyways I have to let go of any false hope of reconciling with her ever. She has this agenda to take anyone and everyone down regardless if its right or not. I wish I could turn back the clock and never had been robbed, never had invited her over to my apt because I was having trouble being outside, never had given her the credit to put aside her differences because now its cost me a friendship which I fought so hard for despite many people's aversion to it.

Police Report # Accomplished!

Finally after all week of Jack calling we have the police report nbr and can finally move forward with the insurance. But guess what the deductible is? $130 smackaroos, almost as much as I paid for it! So far it has cost Jack and I almost $300 in terms of criminal activity in the past few weeks! His car being vandalized and me being robbed has made this one of the crappiest month by far.

Tonights classes went much better, I wore a skirt with cool stockings that were sheer black with black flowers. My students commented asking me if I had a "hot" date. Nah I just wanted to look nice especially after Jack gave me a bunch of roses last night (wed). I was so surprised when I came home and saw them in the living room. It was so sweet of him to do this for me. They were a mix of pink and red roses.

I am so ready for my visit to PA over Halloween weekend. I need a change of scenery and I am sure it looks like fall back in my hometown. I love the smell of fall, like a fireplace burning and the crisp cold air. Speaking of cold air, both Baba and Jack have been wanting me to get a new winter coat. Saying my old one doesn't do me justice. But to me a coat is a coat, basically to keep me warm. Anyways I've decided to cave in this year and let them pick out a new one for me. Baba brought me sunglasses at the end of summer that I recieved a lot of good comments about. It has inspired me to let her sense of style mesh with mine.

Not much else is new, my Imac hasnt been coorperating with me, something is wrong with the graphics. I must take it in this weekend to be serviced 1 last time before my warranty expires in November.

Lastly Rusty and I have FINALLY decided on a thesis topic. I will compare gender/ethnic differences for NMM on Y/N questions and WH-questions. Yay! I actually like this topic and am curious to the results of my findings. I am going to start preparing over the holiday break later in Dec and just take a break from thinking about it. Because I've been thinking about it nonstop since last June. Its nice to have a set topic that can actually be done this time. Next year I can always do a compairson on teaching methods like I had planned to this year. It would be nice to do research that might be published down the road. See see?

What the frell!

As Rygel would say. Right now my 1 friend and I are at odds over a difference of opinions and basically she's saying she's ending the friendship based on what I've said. I feel really hurt by this person's response to me and instead of agreeing to disagree I am being told every thing I've ever done wrong according to her. I am amazed at how much credit she gives me for the decisions she's made on her own. She wants to blame me for a guy she dated well over a year because when she approached me about communication difficulties I suggested that she tell him it needed to improve or get rid of him. But since that time the story has changed to him sexually abusing her and me saying she should stay with him. Hello, why would she even think such a thing! All I ever wanted for her was to be happy.

It really irks me because I've stood up for her to numerous people who said I am nuts for being friends with this woman. She writes to tell me that all my friends have bailed out on me since Jack has come into my life. I am like, who? Nutter, gee whiz I am devasted. In fact last year I was too busy to maintain any friendship and only saw her, Blondie and Martin. I am not in any danger of losing friends despite what she would like me to believe. I don't give a rat ass if Jack doesn't meet the Deaf world standards. He is a hardcore NYer, not exactly all smiles and zen like. He doesnt trust anyone, be it deaf or hearing. He will find his own place when he is ready, I am not worried about it to be honest. I am more interested in his willingness to sign with me than become deeply involved in the deaf world. He has his own belief system and is entitled to it.

But other than this drama, I am finally feeling like myself again. Yesterday flew by and today has too. I've already finished my powerpoint for tmw nights classes, graded papers, etc., etc.. I have been having trouble obtaining the police report nbr for the SK insurance which I hope I get very soon. Otherwise I will just go into the police station this weekend and get a copy then.

"To err is human, to forgive divine"

The quote above is by Alexander Pope,(1688 - 1744)

It turns out my other friend did email me to an email account that I never check very often on Friday morning. I am glad I was WRONG! She has since sent me 2 reassuring emails that she's been thinking about me. I feel a LOT better :-)

Come on already!

I still feel lousy. I haven't been hungry all day. I worked my 1st job no problem because I was on the go go go. Eddie had no idea how severe the robbery had been. He and Virgie both felt real bad for me. It was nice to be in an environment where people care about me.

I arrived to teach tonight but I was all jittery and rushing through the review. I finally just told the class that I was a little "off" tonight and that I had been robbed the other night. They were of course upset for me and told me they were sorry. Some of the guys offered knuckle sandwiches to the jerks who did this to me. Several expressed surprised that I didn't cancel class. So I taught both classes for a while and then ended it sooner than normal. I said I'd be back to my old self by Thursday and I feel I will. Tonight I was to introduce giving directions such as in a hallway and that is every ASL teacher's least favorite subject to teach and the students usually get frustrated with that so I just decided to spare all of us.

Jack is on his way to pick me up. I am ready to go home and just chill. I feel a little better but not as much as I had hope. I know I need to give it time. Its just a weird place to be in right now.

One of the two friends who I am mad at, defended her decision not to see me Saturday night. I am disappointed by her response. I realize she considers it a matter of self-preservation but other than maybe being a little uncomfortable, what did she have to lose just by trying? I just wished she had tried. Now I feel like its another set back in the never-ending saga between my friend and my boyfriend. Its been almost a year of this crap, me being in the middle. At least Jack was willing to try and move forward even though he deep down inside didn't want to but was willing to for my sake.

I still haven't received any emails from my other friend. I feel hurt by this as well. I know she has a lot on her plate but a few lines in an email would've shown she cared.

Lately I feel like I am a whinny, complainer and I don't mean to be. I know when I get home, I will watch some Star Trek episodes and escape reality for a little bit. I think that's just what I need.

Feeling let down

Right now I am mad at my 2 closest friends here in NYC. One of them didn't even take the time to email me and ask me if I was okay after she was told I was robbed. And the other let her own personal hangup get in the way of being there for me last night. I feel really let down by the two of them.

Its been a LONG weekend. I think the robbery happened at the worst time, the beginning of a weekend. Perhaps if I had been robbed on a Monday and then went to work the next day I might've bounced back quicker but instead I fell into a major slump that involved long periods of sleeping.

Saturday I just didn't want to get out of bed. I only did so bc a friend planned to come here for dinner but cancelled. It made me feel like shit, like why did I bother to get up? But Jack was a real trooper and after I showered and did some dishes. He cooked me dinner, the steaks I had brought the night before and alfredo pasta which he insisted he couldn't make without ruining the package mix. He didn't ruin the pasta at all, it was delicious. We watched various episodes of Star Trek series and he eventually moved the cable box into the bedroom so we could be together. It was nice to be able to watch TV in bed with Jack sleeping next to me. I was able to share my feelings with Jack last night. He made a real effort to listen and let me get it all out. He's a guy so I know its hard for them to just listen and he did a great job and was more tender than usual.

Today I again didn't want to wake up. Last night my 2 friends made a big runaround about going to DINGO that was happening today and was the 1 thing I had to look forward to this weekend that I told them to forget it, I didn't feel like going anyways. I have to admit, my spirits was low but I would've benefitted going to get out of my element. So thats another reason why I am angry with them. Not because they didnt want to go to DINGO but they didn't really make it seem important to see me or suggest alternative plans, well 1 did but thats the one that didnt come last night. The other one said I could stop by after I went to DINGO, gee how lucky am I? I can stop by.

So Baba called today to check up on me, but I was just not wanting to wake up. I finally did and called her as well as Mom to let them know I am ok. They both are behind me 100%. I am so looking forward to seeing the family in a few weeks. Ill also be more back to my old self, just more wiser and more aware. Plus it will be Halloween, I am making Jack go to Jason Woods. I just have to not drink any water cuz I might pee my pants! And I am SUCH a scardy cat. I don't think Jack has any IDEA of how much I will be latching onto him every 5 secs something jumps out at me. But knowing him, he won't mind and probably make threatening looks to whoever is trying to scare me. Then we will hit the Greek Bazar. I am hoping David, Nancy and Bobby go on Saturday with Jack and me. Its best to go with family and finally Jack will get to touch the Greek Bazar. He's been hearing about it for the past 2 years, like my Mom says enough, already!

When I talked to Mom tonight she agreed I will feel much more normal when I go to work tomorrow. I need structure, routine BIG time. I need to be distracted and off of this negative energy I am in right now. Its just hard right now because this took place on the very block I live off of. Makes me feel very guarded.

Funny I know things could've been a LOT worse and I am not sure if I am overreacting to my experience or not. I mean I wasn't raped. I wasn't beatened. I was even lucky enough to get 80% of my belongings back. I don't feel scared. I just feel bad.

I also tried to grade my students paper but I have had this slight headache, probably from sleeping too much that I am not getting much done. I feel irresponsible for not doing or getting much accomplished this weekend. Like how come a robbery affects me this way?

I appreciated the comments left to me on my previous post, thank you.

So here's to tomorrow, a brand new day and I am ready for it.

I was robbed

Thursday night on my way home from working both jobs I was attacked from behind and my purse was stolen. It happened on the very block I live on. I actually live at the end a street off the corner of 5th ave. I was coming from Lenox Ave walking eastward down my street. My street is a residential neighborhood, with rows of houses and small front yards.
On one shoulder I had my courier style bag with my students papers, etc., etc and on the other shoulder my purse neatly tucked in between my side and my arm. I felt a gush of air from behind me when suddenly an arm was wrapped around my neck. For a split second I thought jokingly it must be Jack sneaking up on me to surprise me, because the gym he goes to is off of Lenox ave, I figured he might be coming back from exercising. But at the same time, that's not Jack's style to rough house with me like that. That's the kind of stuff that happened at MSSD/Gally days. So within moments I realized as the arm continued to choke me and pull me back somewhat that this wasn't someone I knew. A 2nd thug grabbed my purse which I didn't let go off because I was too busy pulling the arm away from my neck that when finally the purse strap snapped. Then the 2d thug ran with my purse, while the other one released his choke hold and ran off back towards Lenox ave. I immediately began running after them in complete shock yelling "GIVE ME BACK MY PURSE, GIVE ME BACK MY PURSE!" Hoping some one nearby may hear me and block the 2 thugs but this is Harlem and the block running parallel to my street on either sides are both loaded with people up to no good. There were a few standing about like this was a show and did nothing about it. I stopped running when the 1st guy with my purse made it to Lenox ave and began sobbing walking back home, just not believing what happened to me!

I never saw my 2 attackers. By the time I swung around the thug with my purse was already running and the one who had been choking me also ran not too far behind the 1st one. The one who choked me was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and dark jeans that all I could see. I guessed were they were teenagers because of their builds. They were not at all muscular/stocky but somewhat skinny, the one with my purse was shorter than the one who choked me. That's all I can remember, I will never have a face to remember as my attacker. Which is kind of good but kind of not. Because earlier today (Friday) as I walked to the bank nearby, every young black guy dressed as thugs and fit the build of my assailants I thought to myself, was that you who was choking me last night?

I am ok. I was not seriously hurt. The police came within 20-25 minutes after the assualt, phone calls were made to all financial institutions that I belong too, my sidekick account suspended, etc., etc. which went on till close to 1am. When the police arrived they immediately asked me to get in the back of their police car to drive around the nearby area and see if I could identify the guys who robbed me. I told them right off the back, I never saw them and I was in shock, there was no details other than the black hooded sweatshirt and the fact there was 2 of them. But we drove around anyways. The police ended up frisking 4 sets of guys all who fit the description of my attackers but the problem is, so many of them dress that way. Each time the officer would ask me, "is this him? them?" and I say, I don't know, I can't be sure. And I certainly didn't want anyone arrested who was innocent. I didn't want to be the "racist" white girl who got them in trouble just because they are black and dressed like thugs. Jack calls this white people's guilt and feels that if a person is dress like a criminal and out and about in the middle of the night, they're probably up to no good. He's probably right but as a whitie, we've had it drilled into our heads not to be racist or assume bad things about people of different colors.

Around 9am this morning, Jack woke me up and there was my purse, sans sidekick and the 5 bucks I had, plus change. But everything else was there, all my IDs, my keys, my cell phone (red one I use with speaker phone to call family sometimes), make up, pens etc etc.. The strap had snapped directly in the middle. It turned out that a woman found it in the park across from my apt where the thugs like to hang out at and found the cell phone. Called the apt because our landline is programmed into the cell and Jack retrieved the purse. I never did ask about the woman but I would like to thank her with a card and a little money. I will ask Jack about it later. Because I went to bed very late last night, I went back to sleep after we dumped out the purse to see what was gone. I finally rolled out of bed around 330pm today (Friday). I knew I had to go to the bank to get a temporary atm card because my old one had been cancelled and a new one is being issued and mailed out today. I decided to go to the branch off of 125th street near Lenox ave and guess what? They had just had a major robbery and no one could go in the bank! I told one of the police officers standing outside the bank that I had been robbed last night and my boyfriend's car vandalized last saturday night. I added, they needed to do something soon because this is getting out of hand. Anyways I ended up taking a bus west down 125th ave to a different bank and when I requested a new atm card. They informed me, they don't issue them. I replied wryly "oh is this because this is Harlem? Cuz I had one issued a while back off of 23rd and 1st ave with no problem." The rep didn't reply but he knew I was right.

After that I went across the street to Popeyes to grab a bite and this older black lady made small talk with me. A very grandmotherly type and it made me wonder how she survives the area especially with the way things are going. I sure hope the rest of her life goes by without anything bad happening to her as she's quite old and I am young and will recover from this.

I went to see Szymanski but I was still so tired and just out of it from the robbery. I told her the whole story from A-Z and she of course was relieved that I am ok. We decided to meet up tomorrow night (later today because its 330am as I type this). I will cook her dinner. I got back to the apt and Jack immediately came up to me to ask me if I was ok? I said, I was so so. He informed me Baba had called because she was concerned when my emails (to my sidekick) bounced back and Jack told her my purse had been snatched but didn't give the full story. He knew I would want to tell her myself. I sat down and called her. She took the news quite well and we both remarked on how fortunate I am that most of the items had been left untouch such as my metro card and license. She's also happy too because Jack will pick me up from work at night from now on and we agreed no more Lenox ave, to only use 5th ave. We talked some more and again I was quite relieved Baba took the news well. I worried she would think I can't handle NYC but in fact it was the opposite. She knows I will take the necessary steps to ensure my safety and we also agreed that almost every woman has been robbed at one time or another, whether its a purse snatching or pickpocketing. She told me how once her checkbook was stolen from her purse.

After I finish talking to Baba I was wiped out and I told Jack I was so tired and went to lie down around 8pm, asking him to wake me up at 9pm. He did but I said I was too tired and wanted to sleep through the night. That didn't happen. Instead I woke up at midnight and started to just clean for a while. I just don't want to think and it bothers me every time I swallow, it hurts a little and reminds me of what happened last night. I just want to add that when this actually happened I never feared for my life, it was more of a total surprise and confusion of what was happening, followed by anger as I chased them, followed by sobs as I walked to my apt realizing my purse was gone. I dont know how to explain my feelings right now. Its kind of unreal but at the same time, so very real. I am so lucky that I wasn't seriously hurt or worse raped. This experience has made me more aware of my surroundings and to know that while I am not a racist person. If a person is dress like a criminal, then they probably are, regardless of what color their skin is. I won't stop living my life but my trust in strangers has gone down several notches.

For those of you who are reading this, be aware my tmail is suspended right now and the best way to contact me is through my columbia.edu account or just wait a few days and then email my tmail.

No DeeCee 4 Me :-[

Due to a few unexpected bills such as my SK2 dying and Jack's car being vandalized over the weekend I realize this isn't the right time to be going out of town. As much as I wanted to see my friends at Gally in the DC/MD area I decided to be the responsible adult that reflects my chronological age. But it still sucks. On the flips side, I kinda already knew that deep down inside I would've felt worse going there. And having all my "responsibilities" hanging over my me. Luckily for me Karen was totally understanding about me cancelling. She will see me anyways for Thanksgiving, so no biggie. I am bummed tho not to see Knob or get a chance to tour the Gally or MSSD campus with all the new upgrades and renovation. But what more, I wanted to experience the pulse of Gallaudet as it is today, 2008. Its been a while since I spent any time there in the past 5 years other than Tent City I (Spring 2006 protest of JKF).

Last Friday night Blondie, Szymanski and I all watched Super Nanny at Ed's place. It focused on a deaf family with 4 hearing childrens (CODAs), set in Nebraska. It was so cool to see this and for once, I didn't have to rely on the captions and could just watch the parents sign. To me, they were no different then any other parents seen on that show. They were overwhelmed with 3 younger girls all closed in age. The oldest was 18 years and the man on the show I think his name was Kip was her stepfather and the other 3 younger girls her half sisters. Boy did she the oldest one look like a CODA!I don't know how to explain it, but they say there's a "deaf" look, the same goes for CODAs. I swear, she could've been Adamos twin, same big eyes and saucer face with a perpetual scowl. I have seen cases where deaf parents with hearing children do place too much responsibility on their kids. I remember when I went on a deaf cruise, it always bothered me that some of the deaf parents would just leave their kids unattended in the staterooms while they were out and about at the bars/clubs etc., etc.. This is not true for all deaf parents but it does happen. I won't lie.

Also last Saturday night I decided to go to Dave and Busters in Farmingdale, Long Island. Apparently there's a monthly get together by the LI deafies and I wanted to check it out. Jack and his friend Gabriel joined me.

Here's a pix of Gabriel and yes he knows how to smile :)

It was an hour drive but well worth it.

Here's Jack getting some of his aggression out after finding his car vandalized

Aren't the graphics amazing?

When I arrived I saw some deafies outside but didn't know them. I ended up only knowing Joe Pal and Tony (who I knew from Gally and hadn't seen since 1999). So I mostly stuck with Jack and Gabriel. This Dave and Busters was HUGE. They had a pool table area, game room, bar and restuarant as well as a small bowling alley. Gabriel had never bowled before and Jack only 1 or 2xs. Gabriel decided the 3 of us should bowl and so we did.

A proud new bowler is born!

Go Gabriel! Oh no, gutter roll :(

Here's Jack, showing Gabriel how to unleash the beast

Go Jackkkkkkkkk! STRIKE!

Here's me, showing not only do I have brains and beauty, but some muscles too. Ok, ok, I admit it. It was only a 10lb ball. I had wanted an 8lb ball but they didn't stock those. It was good for me in the long run anyways.

They totally had the glow in the dark theme going on which ofc makes it even more fun!

Our first game, Gabriel and sometimes Jack was struggling to keep their balls from going into the gutter, me on the other hand bowled my best game EVER in my entire life. Funny I thought guys would know their way around balls considering they come equip with 2 of them ;-)

Here's the evidence, I beat TWO BIG MUSCLE GUYS *nah nah!*

Here's me being so excited getting a strike and they MISSED my glorious moment, grr!

But by the 2nd game, I was losing my momentum and bowled a typical score for me which is usually in the 80s, 90s. I consider breaking the 100 mark a good score for moi.

Here's Gabriel determined to reclaim his honor in the world wide sport of bowling.

Both of the guys did a much better score than the 1st game. 83 for me was much more normal. As you can see Gabriel scored a few strikes and Jack became the master of spares!

This experience makes me want to bowl with them again. Another game I really enjoyed while we were there was shooting hoops. Jack and I teamed up and made a lot of 3 pointers. I made sure to hit the board as I learned when coaching basketball it doesn't count unless it hits the board.

All in all, Dave and Busters was a lot of fun. Even tho I didn't meet any new deafies except for one girl (deaf) who's hearing boyfriend worked there and signed to me when we were getting our bowling shoes, I didn't make any new deaf friends. Still it was just nice to look around and see other deafies there, signing away mixed in with the hearing crowd.

Also in the main game room by the entrance, they had a photo booth that allowed the two of us (Jack and me), photos be taken and then makes a baby photo morphed by our individual profile. It was the 1st thing I saw when I walked into the gaming area and proclaimed to Jack, We have to do this! Hours later when Jack couldn't find any new games he wanted to play, I dragged him over to the photo booth and got him to sit still and do it with me. For the baby photo option, we had a choice of a boy or girl and what color hair we wanted. We picked a boy with brown hair. Several seconds later and viola, our imaginary baby picture came out. I thought the baby looked adorable but Jack thought it was UGLY and fake looking. The baby had my eyes and I think his nose? I will try to post a copy of it later. Of course it tugged at my maternal strings but no, not now. I can't afford a baby!

It was also a nice opportunity to get to know Jack's friend Gabriel better. He's a nice guy, I can't always hear or understand him but I still enjoyed his company nonetheless.

Ny kids for Obama!

Earlier today I saw a folding table at the
corner of 120th and Amsterdam ave thinking
it was someone selling stuff like a garage
sale or sumthing. But imagine to my surprise
it was 3 little girls holding a bake sale for
Obama to raise money for his campaign. I
brought 2 cookies and donated an extra
dollar to their cause. They were such a
cute bunch and when I went back to work,
I told others about them so they too could
go across the street and see that patriotism
knows no age bounds! I gave them this
website and told them that Mom and Dad
should help them navigate to this website.
(Mom and Dad if ur reading this- Id be curious
to know how much money the girls raised
today? There's a comment section below)
Thank you girls for being you and showing me
the American spirit is alive and well!

One for the money, two for the show

One for the money, two for the show So 'round and 'round and 'round we go Take a look at what-a you might need You better hurry To get a piece of me...

Sometimes when I am real tired like I am today, I wake up with a song stuck in my head and today is Skid Row's song, A PIECE OF ME. I don't know if subconsciously I feel pulled in many directions or? But man it brings back the days of high school where my walls were plastered with Bon Jovi, Guns-N-Roses, and Skid Row graced my walls. I don't think there were that many "metal heads" when I first started at MSSD. I stuck out with my black tees and my "bad ass" attitude which was really a lot of hostility built up from all the years of abuse from my former hearing school environment. So arriving at MSSD I had a chip on my shoulder a mile high. I would cut the pretty preppy dressed girls a look of contempt. And I would try to be "one of the guys" thinking it would make Aubrey Lowry who I was madly in love with my freshmen year noticed me but instead I drove him away by winter time with my puppy love crush that was obvious to EVERYONE. It was a heart breaking experience. I spent the remainder of the school year trying to win my way back in his good graces but it never really happened.

Why? You wonder? Because he "found" Christ and from what I have found out over the years became a priest or preacher, I am not sure which? Anyhoo the little amount of time he did give me after cutting me off for months and giving me the silent treatment was all based on converting me to Christianity. I remember telling Baba about it and her being worried I would be turned over to the mediocre side of religion but I never was swayed. I think I wanted to badly please him and would listen to whatever bull he was feeding me that day. In the end it didn't matter because he transferred to WPSD (Western PA School for the Deaf) in Pittsburgh, which is where I think he was from or near there?

To this day, when someone I love gives me prolonged silent treatment, it really messes me up. I am not talking about a few hours or even a few days but for weeks or months at a time. Although as an adult its highly unlikely I would put up with that shit ever again but I know I would NEVER treat someone I love or cared about that way after being on the receiving end of a silent treatment. I still don't know what "terrible" thing I did to him. Probably nothing but get on his nerves to the point he couldn't stand me anymore? I don't know. I do know our circle of friends felt bad for me and made their best efforts to include me in social gatherings but it was hard.

Anyhoo speaking of MSSD, I will be going to Gally's HC in 3 weeks yay! I will stay with my awesome friend Karen and see Knob too. I am SO ready for a mini getaway. Originally I planned to attend my 15 year hs reunion but the person in charge of it recently announced last month that he was dropping the plans due to family obligations that were planned the same weekend. I am not ready to give up on my 15 year reunion. After vping with Knob last night she suggested I use Facebook and pick a location for all of us to meet up. My next step is to look up Gally's HC weekend info and see which night, Friday or Saturday night would be more ideal for everyone from class of 1993 meet up. It doesn't cost anything to simply suggest a location and a time. I will ofc bring my camera and snap away. I am just extremely happy to know I will be seeing good friends and on my old school grounds. I also plan to contact MSSD alumni dept and see if I can do a small tour of MSSD on Friday Oct 17th? see see.