Sorta miss

Well I know some people in my life won't be
happy when I write this BUT I miss Szymanski.
I had fun, laughed with her. And I could email
her when I was down and type away my
thoughts knowing she send me messages of
goodwill. She's can be fiercely loyal when she's
not mad at you. The problem is when she is
mad at you. It becomes public knowledge on
her blog. This posting makes me the same as
her becuase tonight I wrote an email venting
my thoughts about us not being friends, but
saved in my draft folder. Afterall I've had a
few martinis tonight at the social event and
as I wrote earlier 1 guy in particular upset me.
Btw I have to mention that Frankling came to
town. She paged me this afternoon saying she
was on route to the city. I invited her out to
the social and she showed up! Funny I admit
my 1st impressions of Franklin was not
impressive but then we worked together as
co-chairs for an ASL Club and I got the chance
to know her. Especially when we co sponsored
the ASL festival too. Tmw night we will meet
for dinner.

Now back to Szymanski. You see, I have no brothers or sisters. And
Szymanski
to me (others may disagree), was like a sister
to me, same as Blondie and Knob but different
when it comes to the times I'm upset. When I'm
upset I like that I could email her and write
what I felt and know it would be received
and understood. With Blondie she gets
overwhelmed and Knob. Well all I can say
is I don't want to burden her bc damnit,
after Chanda and Pack's passing and her
former job in the mental health field, I
feel like all id be on her is an emotional
drain. Granted as I write this, I know if she
reads my blog, she'd shake her head no. But id
know. Anyways I used to be able to email
Szymanski anytime and say how I feel but
I can't do that anymore and its hard.

Funny Szymanski is always trying to impress
all these people around her (Ty, Floyd, Jason).
But me, being one of her closets friends since
she moved here, nothing I say or did mattered.
I'd feel very UnderAppreciated, and
taken for granted and lately not just
by her but other people in my life as
well (no one from back home-no worries).

I told Jack last night, I miss writing on my
blog how I truly feel and my life as it
happens. In no way am I trying to dis-
respect anyone or their privacy, that's
why I use my petnames on this blog. But
ironically for Jack I like his name. And
his name always appears in fiction
(books, movies, tv shows...)
but other than my deaf uncle Jack who has
long passed away. He's the only other
real person I know who goes by that nickname.
The same for Dick. I've only known 2
people in my life by that name, Dick.
I had a cousin Dick who we all now
call Robin (his real name). And my
neighbor from across the street from
the house I grew up in, his name is Dick also.
Funny thing about him, when I was little,
he looked only minutes away from death's
door. Seriously this man looked OLD and
only days away from dying that he still
alive today and outlived my Grandfather,
Papa by 16 years (I think he's still
alive???) is AMAZing. Just goes to show you
can never judge a book by its cover.

Ok I think I've run out of steam, the venting
is curtailed for the evening. Tmw is a brand
new day :)