Monday, July 24, 2006

Life's musings...

My family (esp Mom and Baba) would be very surprised at my need for order and lack of clutter. I'm grateful for staying at Blondies s and I know its my crap oozing everywhere! Finally went thru my paperwork and bills. What to keep, or toss and shred? Unfortunately I'm a little frusturated with Cleo the "mini Napoleon/Hitler/Bin Laden" Kitty. She is sooo pissy and when I go to put something away or organize, she freaks and scratches me! I bent down to do something, (not even aware she was around), and I got scratched on my scalp!

The Tin Man and I spent the whole weekend together. Its great feeling to be falling so hard for someone. Its also scary because even tho we share lots of similar views, but there are just as many opposite views that must be contended with. Funny my friends all say they hate to fight with me. But the Tin Man makes me look docile when it comes to debating or arguing a point. Sometimes I'm ready to throw in the towel and he's not. I'm really not interested in arguing with a person I care for. I need to learn to remind him in the future, that there are no winner or losers when it comes to disagreements. Just 2 people who care for each other trying to connect. Its only been approx 2 months. And I'm still adjusting to him and him to me. I can say proudly that we do communicate calmy for the most part and we re not out to put each other down (name calling, belittling, degrading the others) but more of trying to understand the his/her pov. Relationships especially those related to the heart are often the most painful. I think its because for me personally I truly want to be honest and myself with the person yet sometimes the person doesn't like what they see, hear, receive or is told. And then I start to get unhappy because I can either be myself and risk losing a person or I can submerge the qualities, views etc of my own and lose myself. There's a price to pay with trusting and caring for someone else (family, friends and partners.) As the saying goes "the road to hell is paved by the best of intentions."

Well I'm stuck today because I couldn't focus on editing while the place looks like a bomb went off so I cleaned!

Then when I finally got it settled, I went to get my external hard drive and Cleo got me again! This time my foot. I hate hate hate being scratch on my feet! I can handle scratches just about anywhere else but not on my feet. So now I have the HD but one piece of wiring is not visibly available. It could be by the desk area but Cleo is guarding the TV area and has messed up the wiring with a few confrontations with Tom who what a sweetie tried to defend me to Clea. Unfortunately that means the cable and internet are both down :[ and I still can't look around for the wire that I need to transfer other film projects and make room for the 3rd movie. Tsk! Cat[! Who has trained who here?

I must also add, that the Tin Man has a wonderful sense of observations when it comes to human behavior. I quite enjoy hearing about the hearings misconceptions on us Deafies. Wow, I need to make some serious educational documentaries that are entertaining that society at large would enjoy watching. And at the same time tear down some of the ignorance by the hearing community on what constitutes as a deaf person. I know I cannot change the whole world but if I can educate even just one person, it is worth it for me. Its sad that humans in general have not master the art of civily and respect, as well as the art of tolerance and acceptance. It seems not to be of our nature. Afterall we are animals, who are currently dominating the earth but if there was something else bigger, larger (intelligent or not) and we were a tasty morsel, we would be no different from chickens and cows.

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