Monday, August 28, 2006

Polar Opposites!

Ironically my sweetie and I can see eye to eyes on many issues but in many other ways we're polar opposites! It does make things interesting. I am not sure how opposite attracts works in the long run? I saw this and thought the questions they listed are worthy to review not only for myself but for him as well; Online Dating Magazine. In the beginning its great listening to a different view point then your own and seeing qualities you admire in someone else that you do not possess yourself. Now 3 months have gone by and these differences have become glaringly different in certain ways. Topple that with the usual 3 month "review of the relationship" along with the 6 month and the 1 year review can make for unnecessary tension and simple arguments.

I learned recently that certain people around me and my Tin Man have made remarks about what I am or are not capable of. I was shocked to learn what was said about me, and hurt as well. I know I am not perfect. As Ronnie likes to say I am NOT "naming names" here. I have tried to do the right thing all my life but for others not to believe in me or my ability to stand on my own two feet, that STUNG! And whats more is that the Tin Man had time to mull over these opinions (because thats what they are, not facts) and apply this to what he sees in me made things difficult over the weekend. I felt like, hey wait a minute, you don't know me that well (3 months!) how can you even apply those remarks to me? I know right now I am not ready for a serious, "let's get married" relationship. But I am all for dating and getting to know someone I like very much to see if it will lead to this. I know it would be nice to have that special someone in my life, to get married and possibly start a family. I just cant think about it now. After I ve dated someone more than a year, I can start to wonder about marriage and a family but I spent my 20s thinking about my "future" and when it never materialized. I learned bitterly that no matter how hard you try to plan things, things never go accordingly. Life will pull the rug out from under your feet at anytime!

Besides I was fortunate enough in two ways. One I had role models in my life who didn't have children and I saw the advantages of that. Secondly, I moved to a city that embraces differences and deviation from the traditional path. No I didn't grow up as a kid, pretending to be a mother of 5 kids, but I have always wanted to have someone special to share my life with. As long as that special someone shares me with the rest of the world. They dont have to be with me if they don't want to when I am with many others, as I will always set special time aside for the persons I love. I have a lot of love to give, I will not run out anytime soon. By sharing my life with family and friends, I feel very rich.

I appreciate the Tin Man immensely and enjoy his company. But I have a life to build for myself, just finishing grad school and getting my ducks in a row. I hope he can understand this about me and not take it personally because I enjoy dating him for now and hope he does too?

Today I did one voice over and soon will be back to editing. I am glad I went to PA last week, it was a great break and to see everyone!

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