1st Annual Ugly Sweater Xmas Party

Enjoying the festivities!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Santa-Con 2012!

Better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why! Santas taking over Manhattan!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me & my bestie

Donning on some staches :]

My love life

Much to my pleasure while working on the end of semester grades. I received 2 different Facebook msgs from 2 different guys asking me out. One I met through Mama Raccoon and already knew he liked me and would ask me out sooner or later. The other one I ran into at a Deaf event. We remember meeting a while ago but can't remember where? He just moved back to NYC. Both guys are Deaf and from NYC.

Its mind boggling because in the past 6 months I have gotten more attention for being cute than I have my entire life. I don't know what changed but whatever it is, I'm enjoying it while it lasts. And the flirty behavior knows no age, I have guys in their 20s and as old as their 50s making it known to me they think I'm sexy which is a major ego boosts.

Part of me is torn because of my age I worry if I dont 'snap' someone up right now my shelf life may expire and ill end up a lonely old miserable cat lady. There are lots of articles online that basically say women in their late 30s are doomed. And that sure doesn't make me feel good.  And the other part of me is afraid to be tied dwn to any one man. I entertain the idea of having many lovers rather than one main love interest. It seems to me the odds of a loving, compatible long term relationship beyond 5 yrs are slim. I dont want to confuse love with co-dependency. But I don't want to not have a special someone to share my life with. Decisions decisions...if I could only know what my life will be like in 10 yrs from now I would feel better about the present. Fuck it, I can't be worried about that now. Life goes on, with or without a main love squeeze and I am ironically happier when I'm single I've noticed. As much as I liked the last guy, a lot of my happiness was tied to him and dating him rather than my life as a whole. I must learn to stop doing THAT!

Chaos is a friend of mine ~Bob Dylan

Now that I am pretty much healed from being dumped early October thanks to my life in NYC, Hurricane Sandy as well as the snow/cold brought to us the week after by Athena Storm I am re-directing my energies back to getting my shit in order. Like I normally constantly strive to do as an ADDer.

I woke up today in the mood to clean and tidy because as usual my apartment goes to hell in a handbasket within days plus let's face it, I have never 'finished' settling in here, its been little by little over the past almost 1 year now. I am forever grateful for all of the people who have helped me get as far as I have. The perfectionists in me craves more stability in my home, I dont know how else to explain it but I won't stop trying till I get there.

Tonight I am taking advantage of my friend Angel who is young and has muscles to move my AC units from one closet to another, so that I can make my hallway closet between the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen as pantry closet of sorts. Currently all of my stuff is out in the living room from both closets so there's space for Angel to move the ACs and I can finally put stuff away. 

I also have to keep trying to get rid of stuff, too much crap is no good for anyone. It weighs me down and stresses me out. I can't stand it and when my surroundings gets like this! I cannot work at home (lesson plans, grades, etc., etc.) till my environment is somewhat satisfactory. It makes me unhappy when I see in my mind how it should be... but my home life does not match my vision. So once again I am back to trying to re-arrange things so that my mind can relax and focus.

Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds ~George Santayana
 

Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit ~Henry Brooks Adams

Your house is your home only when you feel you have jurisdiction over the space ~Joan Kron

Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity ~Albert Einstein 

You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?" ~George Bernard Shaw

Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful ~William Morris

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication ~Leonardo DaVinci

Bam is in the house!

Hooray!!! God Bless America!!!

NYers are used to long lines... sort of...

Today is election day and I know many folks are on pins and needles waiting to see the final outcome. For sure Baba and I will stay up late waiting for the final result. I remember 4 years ago when I was with my 2nd ex the Tin Man, we called Baba right after the results and both Baba and I were deliriously happy Obama won. I just hope to God he wins again tonight? We cannot have a republican in office, each time we do its been a nightmare and I have already lived with both Ronal ReaGUN~Zap! and both the Bushes eras! I can't bear having to do that again :/

As far as voting went, obviously as a diehard Democrat from birth and my 5th time voting in the presidential election, I take my civic duty seriously. I stood in line for about an hour and a half which is quite long considering it was early afternoon. I was annoyed too because district 19 lines were way longer than any other districts and then instead of 2 volunteers working, it came down to one. Not happy, I can't stand incompetency especially when 3 or 4 other volunteers are just standing around not working and this one poor lady all by herself dealing with two very massive lines for district 19. I looked her in the eyes and that was the only time I voiced while I was there, I told her "THANK YOU" because she needed to know I saw how hard she was working and I APPRECIATED she put up with that crap from her volunteer peers and still worked tiredlessly nonstop during the whole time I was there and that was 2 hours in total.

I lucked out this morning on the way to work I decided to use my car for the 1st time in days due to the gas shortage. Mostly because my work schedule is packed so close that I was afraid I wouldn't have time to vote and I figured my vote is worth the last bit of gas. Well I saw a gas station off of I-87 north and saw like one or two cars there. But no pink or yellow block off tapes so I decided to pull over and I was amazed when I asked one guy walking by passing me as I stepped out of the car, I asked him if there was any gas and he said yes! My faced must of showed my surprise because he laughed and said 'yes there's really gas here' and I couldn't believe my good fortunes! On the way back home though it was a different story, that same gas station now had police escorts and long line. However did I get so lucky?

In a way I am sure many NYers today had to face two very long lines
Either in terms of commute (gas station/public transportation)
And or
The voting lines

And for everyone who did and did it graciously without losing their cool, I applaud you, kudos! As I know many of us have had nothing but lines for days since Hurricane Sandy hit. I am impressed how quickly my city is bouncing back in a matter of 1 week we have accomplished quite a lot. Now let's see what this north east'ner storm brings tomorrow?

Hurricane Sandy Frankenstorm

Well us NYers are still reeling from the damages Hurricane Sandy rained on us. On Sunday I went out and about getting last minute supplies before the storm hit. Things like chocolate and setlzer water along with batteries for my flashlight as well as candles because I don't usually keep candles, I just dont. Both of my jobs sent out announcements their schools would be closed. In a way I am fortunate because I was behind in grading midterms and lesson plans and my neck/shoulder have been giving me hell so the rest and downtime due to the storm was greatly appreciated on my end!

 

I thought this was hilarious on Monday before the storm really got bad, my friend Lisa Simspon who lives across the Hudson river on the west side in Manhattan snapped a photo of where I live!



 

So of course I had to return the favor and snapped a photo on the east side of the river here in the Bronx of where Lisa lives :)

 

After the worst of the storm went through, Mayor Bloomberg came on and the terp next to him was fantastic, name Lydia Calas! Way to go Bloomberg!

 

 

A little humor and sadly true!

 

 The storm for the most part in my area didn't do too much damage. I did not lose electricity but I did experience a brownout in which the electricity amp was lower so everything was dimmer, my microwave didn't heat any food, I couldn't use my VP (video phone) and my wireless internet was down. I also do not have hot water still and will take a quick shower tonight at Lisa's home before going out to celebrate Halloween in Queens!

It is good to finally get out and dance away cabin fever, the recent flooding in my beloved city and our beaten up subway system. Seems most folks are having to rely on cars, my bestie Blondie is still without electricity and probably will be till this Saturday or Monday, depends on Con Ed?

I am doing better these days since the breakup. I do miss him a little but it gets less and less as each day passes. It was a seriously blow to my trust levels in men and I hate being lied to, I just do. If I were to suggest a halloween costume for "Mr. I am going bald but think somehow my sunglasses on top of my head makes it appear less bald" should dress as Nixon for Halloween ;}

This below sums up my sentiments for the ex!

Sooktacular Fun at Fanwood Deaf School

Last Saturday, my friend Mama Raccoon had invited me to a Halloween Family event at Fanwood, NY Deaf School. It was Baby Raccoon's 1st Halloween! My friend Lisa Simpson and I met up and drove over to Westchester for some spooky fun. Mama and Papa Raccoon met us there and we went inside. They had all kinds of wonderful things to do, face painting, arts and crafts, a bouncy castle, pumpkin painting and even tug of war! Ran into old faces as per usual in the Deaf world. 

 

 

 Here's me and my new beau, world meet Frank, Frank meet world!

 



 

 Mama and baby Raccoon!

Frank sending some Deaf Love our way ILY

 The gang, Popeye's daughter in the blue, Lisa Simpson, Papa and Mama Raccoon :)

Lisa and Me

 

Mama Raccoon frightened but baby Raccoon is steady as a rock

 

 More cute kids with Frank

 

 

Popeye and daughter

 

 Lisa and Mama Racoon chittering away

BeetleJuice here to help the tug of war event

 Other side of the tug of war with a witch to brew the winning spell!

 

Anyone want a bone to gnaw on? Free, no strings attached! ;P

 

Afterwards Mama Raccoon, Lisa Simpson and I hit the food store to stock up on water for the impending arrival of Hurricane Sandy! This was good because I needed some chow anyways at home, it was slim pickings. We went back to the Raccoon's home and had grilled steak and shrimp yum yum, it was a great day!

So last night was Red Hots Mom's 50th bday! Both Blondie and I stopped by Pylones in Grand Central after a professional paid film gig and brought a small gift and later a card! I heart Red Hots' Mom whom bday we were celebrating. She and I hit it off from the git go last winter when we first met. And then for her bday dinner we got to eat BBQ how could I be disappointed after bbq ribs? I wasn't!
After we ate we went to Coyote Ugly bar to continue the celebration. A cutie in the mohawk brought me a shot and then another cuttie name Joe born in Long Island and grew up in Brooklyn was fun to flirt with! Red Hots was a terrific wingman and it helps when you have a friend to help you get conversations going :)
Friday was not a great day for me. I accidently for the 1st time ever locked myself out out of my apartment in the Bronx while moving my car to the opposite side of the street for street cleaning and to avoid a parking ticket. This is when I realize no apt keys?!! I sped off to Blondies place and ended up waking V's kids who were so sweet & let me in to contact Blondie & Goddess Rose (who was the only person with a spare copy of my apt key!) Luckily Goddess Rose was around and was able to meet me and Blondie. We drove in the rain back to the Bronx where Rose was waiting for me. How lucky can I be?
Then Friday night Blondie and I walked over to Inwood to visit Lisa Simpson and eat Thai! We played a game called Mexican train dominoes which Blondie really enjoyed yay!
Blondie and I had a professional film gig we had to do this weekend which really got complicated as every passing hour. Glad to say despite the amount of time and effort we had to give up in order to do it, we got it done. I learned a lot from the project and what I would do differently next time. Either way to be behind a camera again takes me to the moon and back. I have been recruiting a film team for the past few weeks. I have found a set designer (Blondie), editor (Lisa Simpson) and I was thinking of seeing how my friend King would like to be involved? Normally she performs/acts but I will ask her if she liked to do something behind the scenes? I need a person who secures the cast as well as a kraft person. I also need someone who wants to either direct and I shoot or I direct and they shoot the footage? Lastly and most importantly I need a story to film! I already decided that if a Deaf friend or peer has a great story idea but trouble writing the script, no problem I would be happy to create the script with them. Its not hard at all. I realized in the past I did it all myself and didn't delegate or create a team to help me with the projects. This time I am and I plan to do this after the holidays, sometime in Jan or early Feb. It will be a good time to do it then because everyone will need a pick me up and making a movie is FUN.
In other news I am bouncing back pretty quickly for someone who got dumped only 2 weeks ago. I think the key is to allow yourself time to wallow and vent which I did to anyone who offered to let me. Plus using online forums was also very helpful to talk with others going through the same experience as I am.  I'll never forget how wonderful family & friends have been to me. I am one of the luckiest people I know. As I never feel alone really. I always have someone to reach out to, email, call through video phone, text, write letters/cards and see in person.
I haven't been thinking much about Mr. Handsome anymore. After being vindicated by a friend that my suspicious on his behavior were indeed validate I know now I really didn't do anything wrong and he blew it. It does upset me because I felt he never gave me a real chance because he was still in contact with his ex the WHOLE time! Anyways it makes no difference now, as he is no longer a part of my life and never will be.
Been working on grades and lesson plans today not very exciting but certainly productive. Soon have to start grading a batch of written midterms. For the next 3 weeks I will be in the midst of that, what joy.
Halloween is right around the corner. I have seriously thought of doing the zombie bit again but haven't committed to it 100% yet. But in a way would kind of reflect the past few weeks where I felt kind of dead inside but I appeared to be alive on the outside...My neck has been acting up a lot, I realize when I am overly stressed I tense/clench up. I have to mentally remind myself to relax and lower my shoulders. I reek of tiger balm and icy hot a lot of the time. I dont care it works and I am trying to 'listen' to my body more :)

WAS doing pretty good

today until recently when someone offered me a new pov (point of view) on my breakup a little while ago. All day long I was mad busy with work. Getting to work early to work on my work -lesson plans, then I did work -teach, then drove home, heated up leftovers. Watch a few episodes of Raising Hope, then off to tutor -work. And I tutored for over 4 hrs of my time tonight. It was worth it, my friend is very generous with paying me. Stopped at Pathmark on the way home from work and picked up some grocery then got in around 11! so really no time to be heartbroken. Then I was given food for thought on Mr. Handsome and now I'm sad again and miss him a lot! :'(

Carrie Berry's Card

See now I'm going to do something equally or even more sweeter for her because God bless her she puts up with me and my own self centeredness and still sends me a cheer up card! Xoxoxoxxoxx!

Its hard to forget the past

And let go of what I thought was my future with Mr. Handsome. I'm still extremely sad to see him gone from my life. But I am willing to move forward by myself because I already cried over him once deeply 20 yrs ago. I just can't fathom going through this again and again. Best to cut him out completely because the heart wants what the heart wants. I do miss him and having him in my life.
I ironically thanks to the first 2 exes have grown a thicker skin for breakups. Yes I'm wallowing some I'm entitled it only happened a few days go. Sure I was like 75-80% prepared mentally that I would return back to the city single once more. But there was still that small amount of hope and I was still technically his girlfriend. So yeah I'm wounded.
And despite my love for him I was not that clueless. His signals the past few weeks were seen & painfully felt. I realize his issues were a large chunk of the problem but there were some that were just him being stubborn and afraid to stray from his comfort zone. For all of his talk on compromise and loyalty I myself rarely saw it in action. I guess this is the 'angry' side of me with that last bit I wrote.
Basically as in death and breakups people go through the similar or all the same stages, denial, anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance. I think I did denial a few weeks up to this, I certainly was depressed. Don't recall being angry much till recently. Did a lot of bargaining by turning to online information on how to make/save this relationship but in actuality did not try to bargain a lot with Mr. Handsome in person. Funny with my first 2 exes I was determined to give it my all, 150%, my dying last breath. But this time I just felt like why bother? He is making the logistics of his reasons for breaking up clear to me and I'm too mature and cute and fun to try so damn hard when I've already given a 100% this far. I really didn't do anything THAT deterimental to our relationship till 3 weeks ago I began to question certain situations that concerned me.
Lastly I cannot say I'm at the acceptance stage yet but I'm not too far off either. I like my life for the most part minus the job/money headaches. I think in terms of acceptance when he offered me the consulation prize of being his friend and I flat out rejected that idea as I was never his 'friend'. 20 yrs ago we dated and now I'm his ex once more. I have to add because this is the petty (angry) side of me that I secretly enjoyed seeing his look of surprise at when he offered me the 2nd time of being his friend saying if I 'changed' my mind at which point I cut hm off and said 'I won't' to him by being demoted to his friend which by the way is such bullshit would signal to him I 'accepted' what was happening here and fuck that I really don't. Either you love me and want to be with me or you don't. But I don't open myself up to anyone like that unless their my SO (significant other).  Its outrageous to me to think after sharing my life and even tho this time it was only 6 months steadily with someone I'm into to think id be ok with being his friend.
Anyways what does it matter now? Its clear he doesn't love me back deeply enough to make me a central part of his life. We had a really good thing going. It hurts but ill live :(
I am however fortunate because I have so many good friends in my life. One sent me this card below. Another one offered to stop by my home at 11 at night just to make sure I'm okay. How lucky am I? Baba was a tremendous rock for me this weekend and so was Mom. I'm glad despite this heartbreak my heart is strong enough to see what's in front of me XO to everyone who is good to me, it matters. My heart is bruised but still beating <3

Back to square one

Well I've been dumped and it hurts. It hurts to think this someone who had my heart in his hand and treated me wonderfully better than I've ever been treated for the past 5 month just cut me off over the past few weeks. I realized he had a lot on his plate but I never imagine he would give up on us so quickly and he seems so unaffected by it all. Granted his has issues and those issues in many ways debilitate him. I am just at an all time low right now and it seems to be the norm for the fall the past few years.
I feel unlovable and a loser for taking a chance on someone who's background I would not normally give the time of day to. I just thought because he had been so open and never an unkind word or argument really between us that I finally found a man who knew how to communicate and take in consideration my ADD and his issues. But when the shit hit the fan, he was no where to be seen because I guess he cannot be there for anyone else during the times when he is super stressed?
I am so tired of feeling like a major fuckup. People all around me have gotten married, had children and have real careers and here I am struggling daily to keep it together. I was already feeling very depressed before being dumped but now I am depressed.
I have been kind of weepy today and it sucks, I haven't cried like this in so long I didn't ever think I would be back to this state. When I let Mr. Handsome in I was just starting to feel open to dating again and trying my hand at love once more. Now I wish I could just crawl into bed for days on end. But I can't I have to work and keep trying despite having zero ambition.
I keep messing up at my jobs because the classes are so packed closely together I get confused about who I taught what to? I am beginning to hate my life and I am very unhappy with myself. I just feel lousy all around and thank god Baba is by my side to let me be my weepy self and not be so alone. Yet tmw night I have to drive my unhappy self back to the city to my empty apartment so I can work Monday. This coming week is going to be so hard and with my ADD brain and the tendency to obsess I don't foresee many happy days in the near future :(

Tedium

I learned a new word today
Tedium ~ "the quality or state of being wearisome; irksomeness; tediousness"
Lately for the past week or more the drudgery of the daily grind is really getting to me and unfortunately makes me unhappy. My fall semester is not ideal for me as a person with ADD we need stability and schedules to help us stay on track and get things done. But my current schedule of working morning to night 3 days a week M-F, then off 4 days is setting me back royally! You see when one has ADD it can be very tiring to have to have to expand that amount of focus in such a short amount of time. Cramming in 5 classes & tutoring at 3 different campuses, and me visiting at least 2 locations per day no wonder I'm a zombie on Thursdays!
Everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am to have this schedule. They have no idea how miserable its making me. My insonmia is at an all time high because it takes me forever to unwind when I get home from work then I get to bed late and have to wake up fairly early for me to work again all day long! I may just have to use Thursdays as the day where I just sleep & do nothing because I don't see how anything can change between now and Decemeber?
Also not having a computer of some kind at home also makes life difficult. I was able to use Goddess Rose's yesterday to get some work done but that's another thing I realized. In the past when I did work at home, I would alternate between working & cleaning which kind of helped keep me on track at home but now I'm not really do either as much as I should.
I don't mean to complain and I realize this certainly isn't the end of the world but its where I'm at right now. I just hope my blahs don't turn into a real depressive state. So far I've been staying busy & social to avoid this happening. It will be good to see my family next weekend which always lifts my spirits.

Gotta hope for the best but expect the worst

They say LDR are not for the weak, they're right. This past week I feel like I'm trying my best to be supportative and understanding but not at the cost of me. Its been a difficult week and one that I'm sad to say did not end all 'happily ever after' 
:/

A speed bump on the road of love

Recently my new love life has faced its first roadblock. This difference of opinions is good for me because it makes me re-evluate my views on the topic as a whole.
But because of us being in a LDR (Long Distance Relationship) the normal stages of a new relationship most couples experience in close proximity is not th same for LDRs.
Our communication options are limited currently to texts and emails with webcam possibilities not too far off in the future. Plus factor in we both have busy lives away from each other, so the frequency of quality time spent together is also limited. It makes us slow down and have real discussions both text and in person. I'm thrilled that my grumpy Sunshine is the one pushing for compromises and finding solutions that work for both of us. As well as taking our time in this matter.
While at first this difference of opinion had me worried because of my ADD laddled brain and the tendency to obsess. I was kind of freaking out all around the past few days despite my grumpy Sunshine being pretty communicative. That is until yesterday...then all of a sudden MIA. Oh man I really didn't need that on my worst work day and I'm already having ADD laced anxious thoughts for the past few days it was not a great day for me yesterday. Finally he contacted me kind of late last night. Said he was sorry he had me worried and we texted today keeping things related to other topics. I realize he's the kind of man when something important occurs he needs time to digest/process it which is hard for me. Because I'm the kind who wants to fix things straight away. It can be unbearable waiting when its constantly on my mind. I do not enjoy this aspect of my ADD and need to learn how to cope better. This is why despite feeling uncomfortable with this roadblock it sure did bring to light how my ADD can affect me in romantic relationships. It has made me reflect on my previous relationships and how my ADD at times caused me unnecessary grief. And I want to learn how to break this habit or at least when I see my ADD getting in the way, how to react differently in the future? 

Lacrosse

After teaching college kids for over 5 years, you can pretty much immediately spot the students who are studious and students who like to have fun as well as problem students. And every year a handful of them stand out causing you to form life long memories of them. I never forget one guy from last year's class who was cocky, athletic, funny and at times bitingly sarcastic. He is majoring in criminal justice to later after college become a police officer which is something I admire. His favorite sign probably was Lacrosse. So this year during last week's 1st day of class, one particular student stands out, he's more energetcc, loves attention from his friend and obviously bored easily. Kind of like last year's student and out of the corner of my eye I caught him signing Lacrosse to his jock friends. Then he saw that I had seen this, he beckoned to ask me if that was the correct way to sign Lacrosse and I said yes. I asked him where he learned it. He said from a teammate. I said was it (insert boy's name from last year's class)? His smile turned into a big toothy grin and said yes. Funny how far the ripple effect goes between what I teach and what the students retain and spread. And stimultaneously how the students after a time rub off on me so they become unforgettable :]

Eh

Today is Monday, probably the least favorite day of the week among the masses. But mine is hands down Wednesday! I can't help feel stressed about Wednesday class. I almost dread it! My classes today went well in NJ and later I tutor Lisa Simpson & we will watch Switched at Birth after we're done.
Mr. Handsome and I chatted some this a.m., I enjoyed the banter before work. He clearly misses me when he jokingly informed me he's jealous of my cuddle time with Tom my Bastard Kitty :] I miss him a lot too.

Love sick

Mama Racoon yesterday remarked that I'm 'love sick' her husband chimed in that he agreed, 'yep you're love sick' he said. And so I must be.
Went to the Deaf Expo yesterday in Queens it was fun and packed! Couldn't move but a few feet before I ran into someone else I know. Living in NYC has allowed me to make or know Deaf friends outside of the Gallaudet/MSD zone of DC/MD area. I've gotten to meet many former RIT and Deafies from Ohio/Chicago/Michigan area too since moving here. I also enjoy the local Deaf NYers, CODAs & terps. Each are different depending on which borough they're from and if they're out of towners its awesome!
Through Goddess Rose, I met several new Deafies this weekend that I would love to see again down the road. Some may complain the Deaf world is too small but not me, I love it and if you actually give people a chance you end up having too many friends :]
Today I was pleased Mr. Handsome kept me company most of the afternoon & evening. It was nice textng back and forth talking about things, not just a few random texts here or there. And he misses me too which always nice to know. I feel like I lucked it out with my Sexy German, we have chemistry, communication & compatibility. I sometimes think its unreal at how well its been going despite the LDR factor. We have not argued once, debated a few times yes but it was never very serious or heated debates. And there were a few times I shared things that were bothering me and he listen and responded quite favorably. That just blows my mind away, its not a struggle to be with him. As Red Hots has said many times 'a relationship shouldn't be THAT hard.' I agree and finally understand why. Or I'm still in the honeymoon state & haven't come down yet? I doubt it, reason why is I am mad crazy for him, more than either of my exes. But my 1st ex I was ga ga for too not as much as I am & was with my Sexy German. This to me tells me how I feel for him now will only flourish with time. Besides he was the only one I spoke of repeatedly over the years as the one I was crazy about. Last weekend when Blondie finally met Mr. Handsome I said to her in the car. Wow can you believe it? You've heard about this guy on and off for 15 yrs, now he's here, amazing isn't it! And she agreed.

Staying on target

So this was an off week for me due to the long holiday Labor day weekend with Mr. Handsome and going back to work my ADD focus is quite low lately. With my laptop being dead momentarily until its fixed in a few weeks this means I must actually follow what I said I would do last spring. And ONLY work when I'm at work. Problem is my schedule is so shitty this semester that the idea of going to work on my days off sucks. With the schedule I had before I had free time after my morning/afternoon classes to stay and work later. But this semester I have work all day long no breaks till the evenings, 3 days a week so I am not feeling inclined to go back to my job sites on my days off.
Today I will use my friends computer to complete one task. Then Sunday I must go to one of my job sites and get my lesson plans done for next week. But tonight and tmw I'm cutting myself a break and seeing various friends during that time which is the kind of fun I need right now.
I am also looking forward to things settling down into a routine. And I happily report I'm trying to stay on top of my clutter issues since Mom visit. Recently tidied up the bedroom and living room. Plus spot touch the kitchen floor and take out the trash. This is a step in the right direction, forming habits that wll hopefully prevent chaos in the future. Only time will tell...

1st day back status report

As usual my 1st day back to school curse continued but this time I handled it with grace. Despite my laptop (a 2nd & new one) committing suicide the day before I was grateful I had the forethought to get the syllabus & class schedules mostly done before my Sexy German came to visit me this past Labor day weekend. Whew! So in order to be ready for my 1st day I got to work an hour early and printed out the syllabus. Plus I quickly reviewed & printed out my 'welcome back' ppt. I used the doc camera instead of ppt today and that's fine. Both classes went smoothly & I feel I covered my syllabus with the needed details to my satisfaction. And I taught the students fingerspelling ABCs & #1-10 so this way I at least taught. Both classes only lasted 45 mins today come Monday it will be a full length class.
How different it feels this year compared to last! Last year I was a student & a teacher and I had just finished my 2nd anatomy course a few weeks prior to Fall '11. I was so stressed then by the lack of time and energy! My ex had talked me into letting him stay with me to try to work things out even though I knew it was a bad idea and it was! I let him stay a short while before kicking him out forever! We were never going to work, we just couldn't and too much had been damaged beyond repair. So this year I thought I be single, and well on my way to becoming the Crazy Cat Lady and bam! Mr. Handsome strolled back into my life and I was smitten! Its nice having a boyfriend again.
Soon I'm off to teach at the other school. Decided to take the train. I don't want to deal with evening traffic! I love using my car during the day no problem, but I am going to do my best to avoid it in the evenings via train/bus! Spending some time with Tom my BastardKitty before I go :] He is the best roommate ever!

Bit of the blues

Today I have the major case of the 'blahs' I didn't sleep well last night, woke up tired. Don't wanna take my ADD meds for fear I won't be able to sleep tonight. And I need to go to bed reasonably early enough to go back to work tmw. Another thing I'm not looking forward to. Is losing my freedom again. Its been nice having free time to relax & focus on things that matter to me. Also I am missing my Sexy German which doesn't help at all. Right now I could seriously use a cuddle, kiss or two. Even just a hug from him. Man these 4 weeks may as well be 4 years as far as I'm concern!
Ugh hate hate hate feeling like this, BLAH!

'My Other [Half]'

You know I was never a fan of the idea of 'soulmates' to me that's absurd to think out of all the people in the world, only 1 is truly your other half of a whole. But nonetheless I was more than please when Mr. Handsome on his way back home to PA texted me the following; "I'm alittle different after days together first one or two isn't bad, little space but then I get lonely and really start missing my other." I had such an awww moment, not that I think he thinks I'm his soulmate, but that I am that signficant of a person in his life despite the distance between us.
Right now I miss him a LOT. After having him reasonably near the past 3 weeks and now having to wait 4 weeks to see him again just SUCKS! I am proud to report I was very good not to tear up earlier tonight when we parted. I didn't want to make him feel bad or that I can't function on my own. I surely can! Still especially like yesterday when he repaired my dresser. The same dresser that my last ex repeatedly damaged I was so touched. My Sexy German took something that constantly reminded me of a very bad time in my life and mended it. Before he finished fixing my dresser I left the room to keep myself in check and not get all emo on him. I was overwhelmed by his generousity as it made me feel very cared for and well loved.
I never did work up the nerve to tell him I loved him either. I just feel its too early. Afterall we only recently agreed to be exclusive. I want to let nature take its course to the best of my ability and wait till I feel secure enough to express my love for him. To me that really can only be achieved over time. And proximity. Time we have, proximity is the problem.
Even though there were times when neither were feeling well or at our best, we remained pleasant & reasonable of one another. This has been the most peaceful romantic relationship of my life! So tonight when he left, I realized that I was just starting to feel comfortable & in sync with him. I think that's what makes this time saying goodbye harder than the last time. Then again the last time he visited & we parted, I only had to wait a week to see him. Now I have to wait 4 weeks!
Tomorrow is gonna be the rough day but then after that it will get easier. I hope?

There's no place like HOME :]

Just came back with my new Boyfriend, which is I will admit an unfamiliar but overall pleasant experience. I think we are both still feeling nervous sometimes. I think this is due to the LD aspect of our relationship. It kind of gives us this stop, start, stop, start momentum all this past summer. I know for a fact it makes me shy sometimes.
Also tonight on our drive back to NYC  neither one of us was feeling physically great but we masked it well. This made me happy because who wants to sit around and complain about our bodies ills for long stretches of time? Not I!
Er, well I did complain a little earlier but not about that but during the drive when we got stuck in some traffic on I-78 East. I couldn't believe how far back this construction forced 4 lanes to merge into 2?!? By the time we passed this supposedly construction work side AFTER 2 miles of crawling I was thinking and probably saying UNBELIEVable! I think that was the only time I griped tonight? I also teased him when we got onto I-78 East and finally exited 222 North, I remarked "YAY, now we're on a REAL highway!" :-D He was lucky I didn't say all of what I thought inside my head when we passed signs on 222 North, signs that read things like 'FREEWAY COMING TO AN END' What FREEWAY I wondered? Another sign read EXPRESSWAY COMING TO AN END. Okayyyy....Smile, silly I know. So anyways when we were crawling through traffic on I-78 East it didn't really matter really because he took that chance to scroll through my FB wall and we laughed at some of my post. I really like that we laugh and enjoy humor. To me that is a serious MUST! A sense of humor is one of my requirements a man to win me over. I was already with a miserable man for over 5 yrs. I don't need to go through that again! Granted there will be times when one of us is down or even depressed. Or not funny but a sense of contentment or appreciation for one another will go a long way. I think Mr. Handsome is capable of this, at least from as far as I have seen, he has done so! As long as there is self expression and a willingness to address issues that arise I am cool with that. I cannot live in an constant emotional chaos as I did with my last ex. It is a wretched way to live, him bathing in self victimization and hate. It was and IS unbearable to me! I was pleased when I asked Mr. Handsome how he felt about meeting my Gays? He replied as any hetero would do, that as long as the person doesn't go out of their way to make him uncomfortable (and admit it there are a few who do) that he had no problem with that. Awesome! A refreshing view on humanity. The kind I like which is the golden rule, do unto others as you would want them to do to you, respect and be open to meeting the wide spectrum of people who make up the human race.
Right now Mr. Handsome is asleep and he should be after being up at 4am and working ALL day, driving probably 5 hours of commute time I am glad he is getting his rest. I am proud of him for working this job and being a responsible MAN. And I certainly don't plan to run him ragged during his Labor Day weekend visit of 2012! W00t! I planned the visit so that it is two days of socialization and two days of rest, downtime to just coexist and enjoy one another company,
I see good things in our future :]

Head over heels in love!

Lately I have been contemplating on how and when to tell my sweetie I love him? I keep almost slipping up in text messages because it seems so natural for me to express it. On the other hand I just don't know if he's ready for that? I mean we just agreed to be exclusive a little over a week ago! I don't want to jump the gun here...but I kind of do too!

And I can pinpoint exactly when I knew I loved him! Yep it was Thursday evening the 16th. I was remarking to Mom who had come up from PA to help me organize my chronic chaotic messy apartment on how when Mr. Handsome was visiting me I let him smoke his cigs in the kitchen by the window. But after Goddess Rose and her boy toy D were by I allowed them the same privilege to smoke cigs in my kitchen. Immediately I realize I hate the smell of cigs wafting through my apartment and how it makes everything smell like cigarette smoke! I said to Mom, "Oh I must tell him he can't smoke in my kitchen the next time he is here. Just because I LOVE him..." what did I just say?! I immediately corrected myself and said "er LIKE him doesn't mean I can allow these heart shaped glasses to color me blind to my living standards which include a 'smoke free home'" Granted if we end up living together we will either make one room the smoking room or get a balcony or a place on the 1st floor. But my point is, as of August 16th approximately 7pm I realized I loved him.

Now maybe he loves me too? I sure like to think so! Earlier this summer when we talked about the past, he said he loved me 20 yrs ago. I was surprised by that because I always felt it was the case of me liking him more than him liking me. Plus I was like 17 and he was 19 and I didn't think he could truly have been in love with me back then. But I do remember thinking I was in love with him and being devastated when he left so suddenly. I remember sitting on Papa & Baba's bed crying and my uncle Rob consoled me. It was then he parted this nugget of wisdom I've carried all these years "never date someone more fucked up than you are!"

Here I am 20 yrs later and we are together and it feels amazing. I am so happy whenever he is around, I feel relax and content. He calms me and I enjoy his affectionate tremendously. I enjoy our talks both in person and texts. I appreciate his honesty with me and he is quite charming and generous with compliments which I thrive on no doubt. We pretty much see eye to eye which is such a nice change of pace and last night I was invited to join him for his friend's 40th bday party.

At 1st I felt VERY out of place because I didn't know anyone and all the women had kids and everyone smoke cigarettes or seem to. But as time went on, slowly people started to warm up to me and by the end of the night I was doing shots with some of his closest friends which I had fun doing. I really like his friends, a nice bunch and we already became FB pals today whee. I thought it was hysterical one of the women thought I was 25 yrs old and Mr. Handsome replied "do you really think I date a 25 yr old?" and we both cracked up and said YES!!!

so now back to my dilemma, do I say I love you 1st or should I let him say it 1st? I have a feeling either way I am going to blurt it out next weekend while he is visiting me in NYC. I just don't think I can contain these loving feelings much longer. <3 <3 <3

Mr. Handsome :}

Wow if you asked me a year ago whether or not I would be with someone new (er sort of cuz this is a guy I dated 20 yrs ago) and haven't seen for about 18 yrs now, I wouldve told you you were crazy. That my future plans involved being single and ending up as the crazy cat lady. Now I get to be part of the crazy couple who loves cats duo which makes me very happy.
Mr. Handsome was this draw dropping, super hot guy with long blonde hair and looked like a lead singer for any hair band back from the 80s like Warrant. I was head over heels in love with him and we only dated for a few months before he had to leave me due to troubles he gotten himself into and I only saw him a few times after that when I was 20 and sharing my 1st apartment with my hearing bff Paula. Then nada all these years till facebook about a year and a half ago. There was this strange weirdo guy who kept requesting to be friends but I had forgotten his last name and his profile picture was awful! Finally I accepted his friendship thinking he was part of a different circle of friends Paula and I knew from way back then name Adam aka A-Damn! So last year 4th of July 2011 I posted on FB announcing officially my independence from my ex who I had already broken up with in April of 2011 but I knew many of my friends wouldn't believe I was really single again till I let enough time pass and I felt what better day to reclaim my independence than the 4th of July. Mr. Handsome commented saying I should see him while I was in town the next time and I thinking he was in A-Damn's band replied saying I would love to see them play again. Then he replied I must have him confused with someone else and to check his photos. Once I did I realize omg its HIM! The one who I had the best chemistry with EVER! But because I was still smarting from the breakup with Jack I wasn't ready for the flirting he dished my way and besides he was still with his ex gf even tho things had gone south with her I never wanted to be the 'other' woman. I also thought it was interesting how he did make an attempt to find me over the years and even went to my old house on brookfield rd only to see we no longer lived there. So we made plans to see each other in August 2011 and we did. Because he didnt have a car at the time I drove and it was soooo awkward that night.
#1 I couldn't hear him at all in the car but like most Deafies I just smiled and nodded
#2 the bar we went to was sooo noisey, crowded and smokey so once again I couldn't understand a word he said and pretended to anyways.
#3 when I dropped him off, we hugged goodnight but we hugged so that my hearing aid squealed and I honestly couldn't wait for the evening to end
Mr. Handsome wanted to see me again but I declined and made up excuses as to why I couldn't. He occasionally texted me here and there and sometimes I'd answer and other times I didn't.
Then this past spring for some reason I just started to warm up to the idea of flirting with him and we began to flirt like mad in texts for a few months till this past June. And he ended things with his ex last spring too so now he was a free man :} So when we agreed to go out again this past June and I fessed up how I didn't understand anything he said the 1st time last fall and that he would have to repeat much of what was covered previously. He said no problem and had a car now and would be happy to pick me up and this would allow for better communication. Then I asked him if it was a date or would we be going dutch? He replied he always pays and yes it was a date. So out we went and let me tell you, I was smitten! I knew right then and there I liked him as much or if not more now then I did back then. I was so surprised I didn't expect all the old feelings to come rushing back but they did. He saw me again that Sunday before I returned to the city to teach the 2nd summer class. Basically our 2nd date was us 2 and Baba, I was very happy for her to get a chance to know Eric better and it was a nice dinner.
We continued to text for a while but I could see he was hesitant since he's in my home town and I am in NYC but I was undeterred by that factor. We saw each other once more last month and had a lovely day! We even kissed that night and it was amazing! I was feeling really good and we had plans for him to return to the city with me the following weekend but then his job ended up getting in the way and he was stuck working that weekend. I was pretty upset but I didn't fault him and I respect that he works.
Then a little over a week ago I did the "boyfriend" test to see if he would remember my birthday? He failed and I had just gotten home from a long drive in Maine. So I used guilt the gift that keeps on giving, and said why not come up for the weekend. At 1st he said no he couldn't because it was too last minute and he was doing laundry. I was like WTF?!? I told him bring your laundry here and its my bday! After a little coaxing he agreed and came up at midnight. I was esacastic! And let me tell you it was a lovely visit. We mostly stayed in and nested. Watched a lot of Babylon 5 series and cuddled. I just had the best time with him. I love how we like to tease one another and laugh and I like his energy. He is making an attempt to learn ASL too which pleases me to no end.
Now this evening I got to see him and poor thing he hurt his right ankle at work yesterday and literally popped out the ankle and it popped back in but the pain bad and driving 2 hours home from MD only made it worst. I offered to pick him up today so he could give his foot/ankle a rest as he works Monday. He offered to take me to Red Lobster which I never say no to! Plus he got to hang out with my Uncle Rob and his family before dinner and then we came back to watch a movie and it was so nice. Also while we were out at dinner I joked so what do I have to do to qualify to be your girlfriend? He said nothing that I was already doing a great job! And that's that, he's my boyfriend all over again! We also talked about long term goals and agreed to see each other at least once a month either he comes up to see me or I come down here to see him. I am fine with that as he needs time to get his affairs in order and I am still working on getting my shit together on my end. But who knows if a year from now if he & I will be living together? I think yes :)

l'chaim!

Today is my birthday and how apt that I recently came across Jewish symbol for chai "life!"

The Symbolic Meaning of Chai
Judaism is a religion that emphasizes the importance of life. Jews are encouraged to be good, ethical people (mensches) and enjoy the time they are given on Earth. A common Jewish toast is “l’chaim!,” which means, “to life!.” It is said at celebrations in anticipation of all the good things to come.
Because it means “life,” the Chai is consequently a symbol that captures an important aspect of Judaism. According to the gematria, which is a mystical tradition that assigns a numerological value to Hebrew letters, the letters Het (ח) and Yud (י) add up to the number 18. The Het has a value of 8 and the yud has a value of 10. As a result, 18 is a popular number that represents good luck. At weddings, bar mitzvahs and other events Jews often give gifts of money in multiples of 18, symbolically giving the recipient the gift of “life” or luck. 

My birthday is the 10th day on the 8th month (18)
My lucky number has always been the #8 for the symbol of INFINITY, so while individual lives may be finite, LIFE is infinite

Quotes I am fond of....
the unexamined life isn't worth living ~Socrate's
if we don't know life, how can we know death? ~Confucious
live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever ~Gandhi
wake up and live ~Bob Marley
life is what you make of it, it always has and always will be ~ Elanor Roosevelt
Carpe diem-Horace
don't count the days, make the days count~Muhammad Ali
Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the only time we have ~Art Buchwald

To LIFE!

Its a LONG process

of 'getting my shit together' so to speak. I am determined to take my problematic issues resulting from ADD headon and modify my behavior. I just cannot function in chaos anymore. I feel defeated and my threshold for chronic disorganizaton has reached an all time low. I think its because knowing that for years now all I ever do is move piles I can no longer tolerate the madness. The inability to find things, the costs of not finding things like metro cards that already have balances on them. Or items of clothing I already have but cannot locate such as a bathing suit, ugh then I got to go out and buy a new one! Worst is when a bill gets accidently overlooked and it rarely does but recently with dealing with 3 different school loan sources and having to renew deferments/forebearance every 6 months makes it hard to remember which expired when etc etc. For example one loan I remember calling 2 months ago and explaining that summer time I am mostly unemployed and cannot make payments. I know that my current extension is active but due to end soon. They of course emailed me the link to their website to reapply online. So I did. Or I thought I did. Fast forward to a few days ago I called this loan company due to a recent bill stating I was late and owed a late fee in addition to the monthly payments. I was surprised so I called up and said I had reapplied for extension and finally after some back and forth with the rep he stated, oh I see you LOGGED onto our website but you did not finish the online form! Ugh seriously how can this be?!? So now tomorrow that I'm healthy enough I must use my friend's computer and apply online. This is one example of how a system for like bills is needed which an ADD coach would be viable for.
Man the 1st thing I'll do if I ever get a job that gives me health insurance is to seek out what services I can get for my ADD. I really want the help I just can't afford it. Very depressing state of affairs our country is in over our healthcare options and economic woes.

Nyquil to the rescue!

So because I've been cooped up for several days sleeping and existing my ADD brain is dying for stimulation. So I sorted papers today. Ugh I somehow amassed like 5 years worth of bills and crap. And I realize after a trash bag full of papers with black marker blackouts I need a shredder stat! Yep still too much stuff that needs to be discarded correctly and safely. I want to keep the paper shredder (when I can afford one later this fall) by my front door so that when I get unnecessary bills or have sensitive paperwork I can shred it immediately. So many conflicting advice on what to keep and for how long.  I agree with Blondie about keeping any last bill tht shows I am paid in full and then discard the rest in terms of ultilities cc etc etc..good idea.
So now my brain is all buzzing from doing this for hours that I am taking 1 nyquil to help me get my butt to sleep. I don want any setbacks :]
Nighty night

Summer colds SUCK!

Currently home bound due to a summer cold that came out of nowhere and bam, has me flat on my back for the last 2 days! I've been drinking lots of water & tea, sleeping for long stretches and keeping from dying from boredom via tv and my smart phone. No appetite today, but will try to eat some simple chicken noodle soup soon. I had it yesterday 2xs and it was mana from the gods. I am achy too so I keep fidgeting to get comfortable.
This really bytes because I was JUST starting my summer break! I had plans this week to take care of a lot of things but that has gone to hell in a handbasket. I'm pretty useless right now. Ugh I hate this.
My friend Goddess Rose and her bf graciously stopped by and dropped off nyquil, thank YOU!
I was too sick to even really see my aunt Nancy who happened to be passing near where I live on her way home from a trip to Maine.
I know I'm all whinny and being childish its the ADD in me acting up. I just was looking forward to being here in the city without wrking and enjoying my home. Instead I'm all sick and gross and currently keeping the klennex industry afloat. Any tissue box shortages are my fault.
Ill crawl back out again in a few days...

Had a better day today

Happy to report whatever mini funk I was in yesterday has mostly evaporated today. Don't get me wrong my apartment is in a royal mess. The ADD and organization do not go hand in hand. Try as I might all I ever seem to do is move piles! I'm hoping this fall is my Mom's health permits she will visit me and help set up my kitchen. When I was younger she helped me organize my earlier apartments. God bless her for doing so because I sure can't. Even if I do suceed in some sort of organization it falls in a disray in less than a week. The nuisance of my ADD is what's really bring me down currently. It gets tiring going in the same circles. I really have been actively seeking an ADD specialist or coach to help me learn how to do that and manage my time more effectively. Because well meaning advice from friends and family are mostly useless and annoying unless they understand ADD they have no idea how unbearable it can be at times.
I try not to complain because most of the time I like being me as a Deafie with ADD, I cannot be happy any other way. Its so interesting and stimultaneously depressing to realize on how much my ADD gets in the way of my potential and desire to be a better ME all around.
As you can see I'm not totally all the way back to happy go lucky self, that will arrive tmw :]

backing off

Well I think perhaps I may have come on a bit strong recently with an old flame that I've decided to back off and let him chase me. I made the mistake of being too honest and open about my feelings for him and now I feel sort of stupid because I broke my own rules. Let the man come after me, let him enjoy the thrill of the hunt. I can speak my mind later and openly when if and things develop between us? I at first thought texting back and forth was a good thing but in the past 2 days I feel like I am an annoying fly buzzing about and crowding him. So as hard as it is to resist the urge, I am going to. And hope things get back on track? If not, no biggie because while I like him a lot, I also LOVE my freedom and my life here in the city. I have tons of friends and a wonderful family. I also forget sometimes that hearing people may not use text messages at the frequency we Deafies do as its our way of keeping in touch the way they do when they call each other on the phone. How do hearing folks dating us Deafies feel about text messaging as the primary mode of communication when apart would be interesting to know. And he may just be the kind of guy that really only texts to inform whereabouts and an occasional flirty message rather than having conversations on it? I don't know but I am just backing off for now. Besides if he can't appreciate me for who I am (not that he has criticized or even hinted that he doesn't like me) then I am better off that it fizzles out now before I really get hurt. Argh its hard when you can't see the person face to face to know what's going on and how honest they're being?

This is an on-going issue with my ADD, the super focus. I get all crazy about whatever new interest I have and go into overdrive mode. I've been like this all my life, and many of these interests do stay with me but the intensity may wane a little. I just got to stop overthinking things and let things happen naturally or not at all. But I am determined to get myself under control here and keep my COOL!

Came across this article and found this passage to be dead-on

"The following are some reasons that make dating challenging for someone that has ADD: difficulty with time management, disorganization, being short tempered, impulsive behavior, being emotionally over reactive, inability to communicate clearly, forgetfulness, high level of frustration, hurtful outbursts and not being able to keep ones physical space in order."

The last one is my biggest thorn in my side in addition to being emotional, forgetful. I asked my shrink last month for affordable ADD coaching specifically for my inability to keep my home organized and efficient. It bothers me so much and I spend so much time trying to fix it and never succeeding. The shrink emailed me back today and is still looking into options so hopefully something will turn up?

I heart Instagram!

Yay found a way for my family and friend's to be able to see my IG photos :)
just use this link instagrid

Step by step Zombification!

Thursdays are AWESome!

Right along with Friday, Sat, Sun!  
Nah its just nice knowing that I worked hard all week and now I can have a short break, a respite. I'm in the midst of 1 summer class I am teaching which lucky for me, my students are very cool and just frickin terrific! I really lucked out with the dynamics of this class. NICE.
So it rained all week, that's fine I coped pretty well. I think it helped that I didn't have to get up super early or work nights. Usually rain makes me tired and depressed. Not this time :]
Haven't been exercising like I was before, been focused more on changing eating habits, not easy. On some days it feels like 1 step forward, 2 steps back. My arms are already losing what nice little definition I had. Hmm the night is still young.
Below are some photos I've taken by phone and used an app or two to tweak. FUN
Tomorrow I go pick up my car. Its been like 10 weeks no car so it will feel weird to be a car owner again. I surely hope I am not as dependent on my car as I was before. I missed my pedestrian lifestyle. Must find a happy middle. Sadly though next fall that won't be the case when I'm working. Thanks to an uname person I am stuck with a crap work schedule. Grr, just insane the hoops I have to jump through at tme to eek by.
Right now I am craving the night life but not tonight. I have a few plans in the works which I am looking forward to over this Memorial day weekend. Ciao!

Opps

...forgot to post May Photo challenge photos here's the photos
May 2 'skyline' (it was overcast all day so I took a photo of the night skyline off the Hudson River)
May 3 'something you wore' (what a surprise I'm a LEO!)
May 4 'fun' (I ordered Mexican corn on the cobfrom the well know place here in the city- the name is on the sticker. It was the best I ever had!)

A great nite!

Here's me and the girls enjoying some social time! Nice evening :] I loved how Lisa Simpson added the hearts, sweet!

Tales from the couch

So I gotta be the world's lazest exerciser yet! I do short burst of exercises and when I start to work up a sweat & feel hot. I stop. Everyone says you should keep going but today especially my lower back is all outta whack due to pms hormones I'm kind of taking an easy. Funny some peoples bones ache before it rains due to arthritis. Me, my lower back acts up due to hormones several days before my period. Lovely, I know! I had a feeling it was coming up again already!
Butt
I KISS-FIST my period tracker! It has made my life so much easier knowing when I will get my period is AWESOME! I can plan around it accordingly. Man I can't imagine life without technology anymore. Sure I go off the grid here and there for a day or two but my smartphone is my plug into the matrix! Fascinating!
Work has been going well. With the exception of one class out of 4 that I teach, its been an wonderful semester.
Overall life is good, can't complain.

Below is May Photo a day 1 'peace'